TGISunday

Sooo... What did I do this weekend? 

Friday night California, Miami, New Guy, Erin and I went to our place because we don't get paid for another week. I am super broke which means that dining out and karaoke are out. It's all good though because we found a $5 pizza place and purchased 5 pizzas also Erin purchased a ton of Soju. We all went to our place where Erin, Miami, and New Guy were bonding over random crap. California and I were the Sober Sallys, he cleaned up my Mac and tinkered with the insides so that it worked faster and better. He was very upset because he claimed that I "abused" my Mac. Excuse me for not knowing how to work all the things in my computer. He gave me a crash course of all the stuff my Mac can actually do, which is a lot considering its 4 years old (practically a dinosaur). Everyone had a splendid time, we told stories of where we'd been and were planning on traveling to. We call ourselves the "Breakfast Club" because we meet, talk about our issues and can relate to one of the characters in the movie. Guess which one I am? Erin's pissed cause she just asked me "Am I the weird girl?" and I replied "Uh...no not at all".

Saturday:

Erin was nursing "the biggest hangover that I have ever had". She looked like death. I on the other hand  woke up and decided that today was the day that I was going to straighten my hair. You see I do not have the wash and go hair that others have. I have to get it professionally done, since I don't have that option in K-Town then I have no other recourse than to do my own hair. As Erin lay in bed I decided I would sit on our bouncy exercise ball (we don't have a chair) and apply the relaxer. When I had to wash it out I noticed large chunks of hair falling off. I started to  hyperventilate then decided to keep going to the end. Afterwards I went to blow dry it straight then straighten it with a flat iron. Erin asked me if I needed help with the back of my head since it was a real possibility that I'd get burned. BAD IDEA! I did get burned (she burned my ear) and it was all due to Erin being half comatose from her hangover. Overall though the hair managed to look halfway decent. Eventually watched "Did you hear about the Morgans?" which BTW- sucked... a lot. Oh I almost forgot! We microwaved some popcorn that my mom sent me from the States. oh the happiness.

Sunday:

Erin and I decided to get out of the apartment and head on over to the city center where we had gone to eat Nepalese food. We figured we'd take the bus to the city center but seeing as how neither one of us can read Korean we decided to wing it. We rode on the stupid bus for 40 minutes and decided to get off and take it back to what looked like a big mall from the outside. We had passed it halfway through our 40 minute bus ride. We arrived at the Culture Complex and found out that they had signs of a modern civilization inside. They had an IMAX 3D theater, a Cold Stone Creamery, and Dunkin' Donuts. Then all of a sudden the crowds parted and we saw something that brought tears to my eyes. A TGIFridays. Oh, the feelings that washed through me at that precise moment were too many to count. Among them there was joy, homesickness, hunger, fear, etc... As we ate we heard "Empire State of Mind" being played.  The food was almost the same as back home. My chicken sandwich had a side of 25 french fries. Yes, I counted them because I thought that someone had eaten off my plate. Reality is that the serving sizes are scaled down to normal people sizes. All in all it was a great experience and we plan on returning whenever we feel really homesick.

We tried going to see Avatar but the theaters were sold out. At least that's what we thought the signs  said in Korean. You should know that when you buy tickets to see a movie in Korea you have to have  assigned seating. That way there isn't a bum rush to the best seats and you can take your time getting to your seat. We also went to Shingsegae department store. It was 4 floors of everything that you could ever need. On the second floor we saw something that we never thought we'd see. A MAC counter. Oh joy of joys! I stepped right up and examined the goods as I was doing this I noticed that the MAC makeup people were staring at me. It wasn't the friendly or curious stare that I've grown accustomed to. I was given quite hostile stares from most of the employees at the counter. Then I thought to myself that that is how I am treated for the most part back home so I shrugged and walked off in search of the far nicer Clinique people. Note to self: remember to buy eyebrow setting gel.

Adios for now :)

The Korean Diet

I wish I had some Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits  right now. Then again,  I look at my far trimmer figure and think if only Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers took this formula to the States then everyone would be 3-4 sizes smaller in 1 month. Think about it for a second.  

The formula is simple:

2 weeks worth of breakfasts-     1 nectarine, 1 egg, and a cup of bland rice

An occasional lunch of old/stinky meat with jelly noodles

No dinner whatsoever

2 weeks later: a bowl of cereal for breakfast with a banana

  a bowl of Ramen for Lunch with a nectarine

  a bowl of whatever you can make on your stove when you get in from work very   late for dinner.

*Try to eat everything with stainless steel chopsticks and wash everything down with a glass of water or cashew tea. Weight loss is guaranteed.

In other news, Erin's bed has not arrived yet. We were told our beds would be delivered on Tuesday. I was the only one to get a bed. Apparently the headmistresses at the school completely forgot about Erin. They said "Oh, we will have it delivered Thursday". It didn't arrive. Erin is pretty upset almost as upset as I was when my luggage got lost. In the meantime, Erin and I are sleeping on my bed. It is Queen sized and looks as though it was possessed by Barney. It is a black ad purple "mattress" that is a far cry from the standard American mattresses that we are all used to. First of all it feels as though I am still sleeping on the floor. It seems to me like it is supposed to be the boxspring for a bed set. 

Erin and I went to E-Mart to buy a fitted sheet and was surprised to find that bed linens are ridiculously expensive here. First of all they don't do sets of anything. You have to buy the pillowcases, flat, and fitted sheets all separately. The fitted sheet cost around thirty dollars and maybe its that I worked at a certain Swedish retailer for a long time but I can't bring myself to pay that kind of money. I looked around and noticed that a bona fide comforter cost as much as the fitted sheet. I thought to myself 1. If I use the comforter it will act as maybe a bed pad and 2. It was quite pretty.

So, Erin and I purchased that along with some other necessities. We left E-Mart around midnight and noticed that we didn't really know the way home. You see Ruby and The Grunter had dropped us off there after they transported my 3 drawer chest home. Due to my pretty great sense of direction I guesstimated that our building was several streets over and we had to cut through some side streets. Yeah, uh...bad idea. Our first "street" was what Erin called "a really great place if you want to get murdered or raped". I had to agree, It was a dirt path that ran between an unlit park and some ramshackle houses that had broken chicken wire fences. When we got to the end of that street we walked through an apartment complex that was completely unlit. From there we got to an unfamiliar street and had to decide to walk left or right. Erin said "I think we should go left but since I have a horrible sense of direction it's best if we go right". I said "OK then". You should also note that we were carrying a lot of crap in our hands and I refused to get a cab cause I felt that we were very close to the house. We almost got hit by a cab while crossing the road (side note: All the drivers here accelerate if they see you trying to cross a street cause they don't want to have to slow down). We walked for roughly 10 minutes when I spotted the side of our building down an alleyway (another side note: apartment buildings have designs and names on the side for this exact purpose). This alley was worse than the first one, I thought that if someone wanted to kill a person then there wasn't a better place to do it. Imagine a very dark alley with vans parked on the sides and we were apparently behind some businesses. You can't see much except for your building in the distance. Scary. Good news- we eventually got to our place safe and sound. 

On lighter and better news- Ruby and her husband are going to the Philippines to see about opening another school. They will be gone tomorrow and won't be back till Monday. I feel as though my weekend started the second they left the school tonight. I don't know what's in store tomorrow but I know it'll be better than today. I'm off to bed now. Hasta luego! 

-Jenny Penny

"Uh...that's still alive"

So Saturday was not that eventful compared to the past weekends. Erin and I lounged around and read, cooked, or watched a movie. That afternoon we decided to go out and explore our neighborhood. We are in the Nam-gu section of Gwang-ju which is in the South of the city. It is on the lower end of the working class spectrum for neighborhoods. If you exit our building and look to the left there are 2 restaurants that specialize in eel. There are dozens of them swimming in tanks. Instead of pick-your-own-lobster restaurants we have the always popular pick-your-on-eel place. People here LOVE eel and I just don't know why. If you ask me they look like snakes that happen to live in the sea. Thanks but no thanks. I will stick to the always palate pleasing chicken.

Back to the Saturday- Erin and I were walking around looking for a pizza place that specialized in $5 pizza because they were having a grand opening. At least that is what the flyer seemed to say, you see it was all in Korean so it could've said something completely different. I could totally be mistaken. Anyway, Erin and I wandered the streets looking for pizza when we saw an alley full of ramshackle tarps that were made to cover the people and the goods under them. These people were selling all kinds of stuff. Everything from fruits, veggies, sweets, seafood, and clothes. We perused the different stalls and checked prices here and there. We ended up staring at a fish stall where there were so many different varieties of seafood. Things from giant mussels, octopus, sea cucumbers in tanks to fish of all shapes and sizes. Erin and I just stood there and stared. There was a man there who was slicing the fish fillets from the carcass. He had a yellow basket by his feet where he would throw what was left of the fish he had just filleted. That's when we noticed stuff in the basket was moving. Erin and I just gave each other a look for a minute and I said "That can't be...I mean seriously, It can't still be...". People, it really was. The fish were still alive and gulping up air. We could see that their mouths were moving as well as their insides. There were at least several carcasses in that basket and they were most definitely still alive. My eyes watered up and I had to turn away. Only to see that 2 stalls over was the butcher's stall. A lady was cutting up chickens like she was being timed or something. Sigh. I have never felt like I was in National Geographic more than I did that day. 

We eventually saw this little old lady who was sitting in a stall covered with a blanket. She was selling several baskets full of veggies and I thought to myself "do I want to buy carrots from the obviously wealthier merchant across the alley or would I rather buy it from this kindly little old lady?". So I bought four carrots for two dollars from her. The lady was so grateful that she threw in a fifth one free. I have decided that I will only buy my carrots from her until I leave this country. Now, I don't know if it was gratitude that compelled this lady to give me a free carrot or if it's the same strange phenomena that seems to only happen to me. You see ever since I got here I've been either given big discounts or free stuff by different people. Maybe it's because they've never seen a person of color before. Much to ponder.

Now, I should tell you that in Korea there seems to be a norm where all the veggies are dug up then sold as-is. There is no washing or even wiping off of the dirt. That concept seems to be ridiculous to them. I purchased potatoes at the supermarket. The first time I bought them I thought that they had to be some breed that only exists in Asia and that's why they were dark brown in color. I came to find that the potatoes have to be scrubbed hard core before you cook them or else you will have a dish full of dirt. This seems to be a fact with all root vegetables. 

Afterwards Erin and I went to Lotte Super which is conveniently located behind our building. We purchased spaghetti sauce (they import it from the States so it costs around $5 per bottle). We also bought pasta (It costs around $3 per package). I picked up some Panko breaded pork cutlets and some rice. Rice. That was quite a pickle to pick out. You see there isn't like 3 or 4 different varieties in the store. No, these people devote 3 aisles to the stuff. All color, flavors, textures, and sizes. I looked around for familiar words like Arborio, Basmati, White, Brown, or anything that looked familiar at all. Eventually a store employee saw that I was in the rice section for entirely too long and asked me what I wanted (in Korean of course). I said "rice, regular rice" I'm pretty sure she understood so she gave me a 5lb bag of white rice. 

The best thing I've found yet is a jell-o cup that is yellow in color but is grape flavored and has grapes at the bottom. It is super delicious and I think that i've found what I will miss most in Korea when I leave. Of course I have 48 more weeks to go. 

Missing my Poang.

I know, I know. Let me start off by saying that we have NOT had Internet in the apartment since we got here. The only way that I was able to Skype anyone was by dangling my computer by Erin's bedroom window and using a weak and unsecured wireless signal. Skype only worked 2 times. After that all I could do was maybe peruse the net for a few minutes before the signal would disappear. Sadly, the signal was always turned off at the most inopportune times. That is no excuse for not calling my parents in a week, especially since they sent me two boxes full of things that I was in dire need of. I am seriously grateful for having the parents that I do and the bad part is is that I didn't show them how much I appreciate every thing that they have done for me. Well, that ends now. Now, they will get called almost everyday (like I used to do in Paris) and they will get very sick of it very quickly :)

Now, where were we? Oh yes! We moved into our apartment on Saturday. It's in the South of the city in the "nicer part of the city". Where in the hell was Ruby looking? I can tell you with the utmost authority that this is most definitely not one of the nicest parts of Gwang-ju. If anything, it's in the bona fide ghetto. There are 3 buildings in our complex. There aren't any security doors here so anyone can just sashay their way in here and try to open our door (which has happened- more on that later). Our apartment is in the last building. It is located on the 7th floor (there are 14 floors in all 3 buildings). Our apartment is next to the elevator. We have the immense pleasure of hearing everyone make their way to the elevator in the mornings. Our apartment has 2 bedrooms. One room is very small. If I had to guess 7 feet wide and 10 feet deep. It's pretty tiny. The other room is 12 feet wide and 14 feet deep. It's considerably bigger. They had told us before we moved there that one room had a big window with lots of light and the other had a tiny window so it was pretty dark. I told Erin that since she had all her stuff she could take the bigger room. I had nothing so I had no problem taking the little room. We then sat and thought about it. You see- If I don't get sunlight I get very depressed. Erin on the other hand is practically a vampire. She hates the sun and said whichever room was a cave was hers. We agreed. Fast forward to when we get to our apartment. Guess who got the big room? Moi. I am secretly happy cuz I have a big window and lots of light. I am careful cause I didn't want to rub it in Erin's face. Then again, Erin was pretty happy to get the Batcave as we now call it. The room's window faces the hallway in the building. There are metal bars on it. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. Metal Bars. In the Summer, since our place doesn't have AC we will have to open all the windows, Erin will have to either keep hers shut or open it and let all the people look into her room (like they do at the zoo). Since our walls are very thin, Erin can hear everything that goes on in the hallway. The first night we were here Erin decided to sleep on the monkey mat in the living room because she was freaked out. Throughout the night people tried to yank the door open. FYI- our door opens out into the hallway. It has a deadbolt and 2 other locking mechanisms. I kept waking up that night because there were many eerie noises coming from the other side of the walls and from the hallway. All I kept thinking was of scenes from The Grudge. Throughout the night I debated whether  I should have taken our Santoku knife from the kitchen and slip it under my monkey mat.  Did I ever tell you guys that I barely if ever watch scary movies. This is exactly why.

We have our own kitchen with 2 burner stove. It's a Gas stove. Did I ever tell you that my parent's instilled a fear in me since childhood that gas stoves can explode? That's what went through my head when I saw it. I got over that fear mighty quickly when I realized that I was now able to eat 3 full meals a day. Delicious, savory, juicy meats and vegetables galore! There isn't an oven but that is A OK. We also have a refrigerator. It is a standard fridge in Korea but for Erin and I it's almost like I am an oger. I swear we tower over that thing. I feel as though I could break it at anytime. I have to kneel when pulling things from the veggie bin. 

Our bathroom is also something most Americans aren't used to. There is a regular bona fide toilet, a pedestal sink, and a shower head on a wall. The floor that you bathe on is the same floor that you step on to brush your teeth as well as to pee. You see, there isn't any kind of shower or tub. Oh no, here we shower then the water splashes all over the toilet, sink, towels- everything! We now have to undress in our rooms then get in the bathroom and deposit our towels outside the door. Its kinda disgusting if you have to use the toilet cause the floors are all wet. Also, the toilet has a small window that faces the same hallway. It also has metal bars on it. Why would anyone put a window where anyone else could just pass by and look you straight in the eye (or boobs in our case)? I don't know.

Our living room is tiny. It's smaller than Erin's bedroom. Erin and I bought a monkey mat (more on that later) and four floor cushions for it. The Grunter brought us a coffee table that she clearly no longer wanted so we use this as our dining table. It's kinda neat but after a while of sitting this way it is literally a pain in the butt. I feel as though my butt bones may break. I don't know how people here do it. Maybe they are born with some sort of butt pad. I miss chairs. I used to take them for granted in the States but not anymore. If you are reading this blog and are sitting down on a wonderful sofa, cushiony armchair, or even a good old fashioned wooden chair then I envy you.

We also have a tiny balcony where we have our washing machine. We don't have a dryer which is an inconvenience but we can manage. The problem is when we do a load then the other person has to wait cause there isn't enough space on the drying rack. If it rains then it takes even longer for our clothes to dry. Either ways at least we have clean clothes and I don't smell like a mountain goat anymore.

I have much more to say but it'll have to wait cause...well...I'm friggin' tired. Kimchi!

Tuesdays with Morty

I am typing this at 1AM Friday morning. I feel as though I've taken a few Red Bulls or a few tablets of NoDoze. I don't know why I haven't slept in about 3 nights. Maybe it's the stress, the food (or lack thereof), or the household where we currently reside (these people have shouting matches at 2AM). Oh mon Dieu.

So what happened today? To be honest it wasn't as exciting as yesterday. I will tell you this I made Frenchie laugh today. He burst out with a loud chuckle after he saw my face. You see, I made him tell me what he liked to eat. He replied "Dog". He said it so softly that I thought to myself: No, he really didn't say what I think he just said. So I said "Dog? Like woof woof?". He said in his very soft voice "yes, but not puppies". I said "I'm sorry Frenchie but did you say that you enjoy eating dogs as long as they aren't puppies?". Frenchie then says "Yes, it's like Foie Gras". Holy Merde! There were so many questions that I wanted to ask but I thought better of it.

Other than that, I was taken into a powwow with Ruby and The Grunter (her sister). They wanted to know what was going on and that I was getting Ms. Honey's class. The class that is scheduled for tomorrow. I then had to make HW questions for books I hadn't even read yet. I am seriously starting to HATE books. I have to read the following this weekend : Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's something, The Phantom of the Opera, Tuesdays (I think) with Morty, Christmas in Prague, and Number the Stars. I need to also do 10-20 questions per chapter. 

In other news, My Mom and Dad are sending me 2 big packages containing food, clothes, and spices so that I can be human again. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. Oh the happiness. 

I will tell you this, the packages are being sent to The Grunter's apartment because her mother is there all day and can accept a package at any time. IF they open any of the packages It will take every fiber in my core not to snap. I am overdue for some major snappage and I am scared that if they open the package then  that will be a MAJOR violation of everything. I swear that I am frightened for myself and for them. I am seriously looking forward to opening everything my parents have lovingly bought and sent me.

On a lighter note: I cannot wait for Karaoke Friday!

"Bird Control Pills?"

FYI- I am changing the names of the Korean peoples so that I don't get sued or whatever they do here (get thrown in jail, etc...)

Oh let's just say that in the past couple of days Erin and I have been cautiously optimistic. Why? Well, Erin hasn't been yelled at again. I haven't been yelled at period. Everyone in our group  says that I am "The Golden Child". Why? Probably because I haven't pitched a fit since we got here. Even Mr. Kim (the patriarch of the family) told me in front of everyone that he couldn't believe I was behaving so calmly after what happened to my luggage. I told him that there was no sense in kicking a wall cause 1. I'm not 5 years old and 2. It's not gonna resolve anything (Even though it would've made me feel a hella lot better). He gave me the "Ahh" as well as a Samurai head nod. 

Ruby (the headmistress/wife of Mr. Kim) has now unofficially made me the Head Teacher. I cannot tell you how very much I hate this. I had to tell California that Ruby wanted me to talk to him about his performance in class and she also sent me there to supervise then report back. Sigh... I went and told California what was up and he seemed upset. I then told him not to worry cause he was and still is my pal and I will totally stick up for him. I don't have any plans of throwing ANYONE under the bus. As I was supervising his class, we heard loud yelling and banging on the walls from Narky's (Ruby's weasel-y brother) class. I honestly HATE him. He squeals on everyone. He also is a dog. No, not the cute kind that I have but the dirty old man kind. All he does is stare at Erin's boobs hungrily. I want to punch the Hell out of him. 

What happened today? Huh, lets see. Narky comes in and informs me in a matter of fact tone that he was taking me to get a Government mandated physical. I was like "Huh?! What?!". They then informed me that I was to go after my 3:30 class. Narky was waiting for me in the teacher's lounge. Erin was there, she had just gotten back and told me that it was "Scary as Hell". I, at that point started to hyperventilate and my eyes started to water up. Erin then said "You stop that right now It's gonna be OK, really". As I was calming down, Narky asks me if I take any medication. The conversation goes like this:

Me: "Yes, birth control for the hormones"

Narky: "Bird Control?" (puzzled stare)

Me: "No, birth control. It's so that you can't have babies"

Narky: "Birds?"

Me: "No, pills so that you cannot get pregnant. I take it because I need the hormones"

Narky: "I don't understand what you are saying"

Me: "Sigh" (at this point I am dying of embarrassment because I am yelling this out in the       teacher's lounge).

Narky: "What is this?"

Me: "Type in 'Yaz' in Google please"

Narky: (after fiddling on the computer and reading) "Ahh, Ohh" (stares at me in a seriously creepy way) then says "OK let's go".

He takes me to the hospital which happens to be conveniently located across the street. The place looks like I stepped into the Starship Enterprise. Everything looked white and spaceship-y. the whole time I'm thinking this cannot be happening. I was also thinking that everything better be sanitized and I hope I don't catch a disease while I'm here. Then Narky takes me to get checked in. He then says "I don't know how to say, uhh... you have to shit in cup". I say "What do you mean I have to shit in cup?". He had just handed me a cup that anyone else would pee in. He then says "Uhh, I dunno Shit?".  I then say "Narky- do you want me to pee in the cup or shit in the cup?". He says "Ohh, pee is good". I then say "OK then". I am led into a bathroom where the toilet looks like it's gonna attack me. At this point I want to curl up into a ball and cry. But I don't I go on. I take my non-shit filled cup to the nurses then they direct me to the locker room. I am handed keys to my own locker with hangers. I am instructed to take everything from the waist and up off. 

As I emerge from the locker room with a robe-y looking thing on I notice that I seem to be the only patient in the whole place. I am taken to get my blood pressure taken. The nurse writes 130/80. I don't know if that's good or bad. I then get wheeled over to the blood taking station. I immediately start to hyperventilate but calm myself down cause it would do no good to pass out or burst out crying (yeah, yeah I'm a big baby- so what?). After the blood taking (which btw- I didn't even get a bad-aid) I was taken to get chest X-rays done. The lady was a friggin Nazi. She pressed me up against the machine and shuffled my boobs all around. It felt so wrong. As she stepped out she barked "Don't breathe!". I was then taken by the kind nurse lady to speak to the doc. She sat me down and asked 1 question "Do you have any diseases?" I said "Nope". She then told me that I could go. All that sitting in her office to be asked 1 stupid question that they would find the answer out by checking my blood? How lame. I then dressed up and shot out of there like a bat out of hell. 

I'm still traumatized.

Soju is most def. not water

Friday night was without a doubt the greatest night of my life. Hard to believe since I've gotten to K-Town but true. What happened? I can try to tell you but let's start off by saying that none of us (Erin, Andrew, Bequer, and I) had EVER had Soju. We had no idea of it's effects. Also, Soju tastes exactly like water with a drop of Vodka in it. So it's completely understandable not knowing what it can do to you. 

So what happened? Sure you want to know? I will tell you what I can remember. It's almost like The Hangover. I don't remember pieces but looking at the pictures I'm like "Oohhh Merde". So enjoy:

After a rough day of work we left our school at 9:30 PM. We then started walking around looking for a place to eat. FYI- Koreans were everywhere!!!! So we went to Kraze Burger. Bequer and I shared french fries cause we had had dinner a bit before. Andrew had a Kraze Burger that really wasn't that crazy by American standards and Erin had a beer and some fries. Overall good food with good friends. From there we started walking to the party district. Along the way random Koreans would scream "Hello!!!" and "Happy New Year". Other Koreans would sit and stare or wave at us from restaurants. It was like we were celebrities. At first it's very very weird but then you just go with it. I said that we were the traveling the United Nations. We were representing all the colors of the rainbow and all the people of the world. Andrew represented North America. Bequer South America, Erin Europe, and I Africa (you will see why I say that later). 

We all end up in the party district and it is crazy. People are everywhere some are drunk others are screaming, yelling at each other. There's tons of lights and signs blinking. Music is roaring out of everywhere. As we were walking down one street we stop and try to figure out where we want to go. At that moment I see more Koreans looking at us from a restaurant. They are laughing, pointing, and waving. I then wave back. They crack up and start waving more. We all then start waving and cracking up cause it was soo weird! Bequer then motions for them to come here. One of them does! He says his name is M.J. and that he wanted us to join his friends. Apparently they love America and they thought we looked fun. I remember that we went into the restaurant where we met his girlfriend Christina (she said I reminded her of Will Smith when she saw me, huh.) and her bff Gina. They asked us if we wanted to have a drink and immediately Erina and I said "Soju". They were like "You have to have Soju across the street" and then they said "we will take you". We all get up and go across the street where they ordered a feast for kings. Enough booze for a serious party but I figure since it's Soju it can't be that bad. After the 5th shot I can say that you don't really feel anything. So you think it's not that bad. OMG- then it hits you like a freight train. I remember lots of singing, high fiving, and Bequer getting touchy feely with Erin. After all that we got out of there around 2-3AM. It was a TON of fun. I remember Gina and Christina and I were BFF's by the end of the night. We hugged a million times and exchanged phone numbers/e-mails/skype/Facebook info. 

At this point random people were gathering around us saying "Hello" and "I love hip-hop". We all kept getting high-fived by random strangers. Too Much Fun. We decided to go Karaoke'ing. It's almost an addiction in Korea. We went to one of the many many places and payed $20 for an hour. We got a swanky room with tons of music and two mic's. We sang, danced and eventually broke glassware. It was too much. By this time my voice was gone and I had zero energy. The people at that place gave us 10 free minutes cause they liked us so much. Eventually we caught a cab where the cab driver was a regular chatty cathy. Before we drove away, we watched as Bequer fell on the ice. Too funny.

This morning I realized that I don't remember many details but I do remember that we had a lot of fun. Apparently the girls have added me to their Skype. Oh- we got home at 4AM. Luckily we had the codes for all the doors in the building and the front door. FYI- in Korea a lot of the newer buildings have key pads for the doors in case you don't have a key. We managed to get in quietly. Nice.

We woke up this morning and Erin says "we sound like phone sex operators" cause our voices were deep and very husky. LMAO.

Well I better be going cause we are meeting the guys in 1 hr so that they can show us the city and the subway system. Adios!

To Eat or Not To Eat, That is the Question

Let me start off by saying that I am very sorry that I haven't written in a few days. We have been overworked. Let's start off where we ended. Wednesday morning we were picked up at noon by Pearl's brother Daniel. I have loathed him since the first day I saw his weasel-y face. He spies and then squeals on everyone. Andrew and Bequer have the misfortune of having to live with Daniel. So everything they do is relayed back to Pearl. Anyway- He picked us up and drove us to the school. When we were getting out of the car I said "I'm gonna run across the street and get some coffee from Starbucks so I will be back in a few minutes". He then said "Don't you have class?" Strongly implying that I had to go upstairs now. I wanted to seriously punch his stupid face. I went upstairs where lo and behold: the teacher's weren't even in yet.  So I settled for some instant coffee and that was the closest I've gotten to real brewed coffee since I've left home.

Pearl assigned to me 3 more kids. The kids are cute for the most part. One kid, who I call Lucifer, is the Devil incarnate. He doesn't listen and is arrogant. He leaves his cell phone on the table and really doesn't want to participate in our 1 on 1 conversations. I want to backhand him across the room. I swear I do but I can't. So in retaliation- I assigned him massive amounts of HW. Which he has to handwrite in full sentences. 

You Bin, another boy that is taking private lessons from me is also another difficult boy. He must have some French ancestry because when I asked him to adopt an American name like Tommy or Billy he said that he "don't like America and Americans". What a rude little... Anyway, He hadn't understood the book that he was supposed to have read so I told him to reread chapter #1 and to write down every single word he didn't understand because he was going to be quizzed on them. :) Ah, kids.

After work we all went out for Korean BBQ. It was beef that we grilled on our table. FYI- If you are ever really hungry, don't do Korean BBQ because it takes FOREVER!!! We were brought many many dishes like skate with veggies, rice, salads, bean pastes, etc... It was really delicious and filling. It was also the first time that I had a full belly since leaving America. It was almost an uncomfortable feeling. When we got home around midnight Pearl was up waiting for us because she wanted to have a conversation. 3 hours later we got up from the table with our heads bobbing about. 

Pearl had let us in on a secret. Apparently, Daniel had gone to install internet in Tiffany's house and he had riffled through her stuff and had taken pictures of her medicines so that the family could research them online. I was appalled when I heard this but kept a poker face. That's when I realized that I hated Daniel. Tiffany has no knowledge of this and I don't have any plans on changing that. If she found out she would flip and then it would all come back to me. 

Yesterday, I had to give lessons to Tom. He is my absolute favorite kid so far. He is sweet, eager, very  smart, and always excited to learn English. He gave me a small orange juice and asked me if we could drink our orange juices at the same time. He then regaled me with stories of "Super Tom and his Adventures in Africa". This kid is fantastic and his mother looks at me with gratitude in her eyes after I told her how much I liked him and how smart he was. This was the child that I was told was  "A little retarded" on my first day. His English is really good, what we are doing is expanding his vocabulary. 

For dinner, Bequer and I went to Mc Do's cause let's just say that my stomach can't take any more weird foods. Apparently Bequers couldn't either. FYI- When you try to cross a street in Korea the drivers try to speed up. Crossing the street was like a game of Pac Man. Fun. So Bequer and I ordered our meals when all of a sudden I notice a bona fide black chic eating her fries. We just stared at each other. I approached her and she said "Hey". Bequer and I were then invited to join her table. As we are eating and talking EVERYONE would just walk by and stare OPENLY. Others would just stand by the door talking to their friends and giggle when we'd stare back. It was and still is very surreal to me.

At the end of the school day, we were driven home by pearl and her husband. She informed us that they have found us a 2 bedroom apartment but it wont be ready until the end of the month. So we have to stay with them for 3 more weeks. How friggin depressing. When we got home we were so tired because we had only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. Erin and I just went into our rooms and as we fell asleep. On a side note: I sleep with soundproof airplane headphones and while listening to my Ipod (James Blunt to be more precise). Apparently Erin woke up this morning saying that they were banging on our door last night but she pretended to sleep. She could tell that I was out because I had my eye mask on and was snoring. they also tried waking us up by turning on and off the light on the porch that is connected to our room. I was happily oblivious to all of this. I guess we are gonna find out what happened in a few because we are heading to work now. Hasta Luego!

Days Of Our Korean Lives

It's official. I am in a Korean soap opera because there is no way in hell that what is happening is really happening. Oh, but it is. I honestly though it couldn't get any worse. That,  ladies and gents is the problem. You see, I had no imagination. That's why I couldn't believe that what happened really could happen. Let me start from the beginning:

January 5th, 9AM on the dot. I wake up from my drug induced sleep and realize that joy of joys- It's Snowing!!! I can't believe that it's still snowing because it snowed all day yesterday. On a side note: you should know that few things make me happier and more optimistic than snow. Anyway, Erin and I are excited because we are going to the school today. We carefully pick out our clothes (not that that's a problem for me b/c as of yet I haven't gotten any of my luggage). We bathe and then go get breakfast. Breakfast was a small roll of bread probably 5" wide and 5" high. We were also left some strawberry jam and a 3 hard boiled eggs. Erin wondered if they wanted us to fight to the death over the 3rd egg. Erin and I decided that because it was already 11AM they probably meant for this to be our breakfast as well as lunch. When we finished our brunch we got dressed and waited for Pearl to pick us up at noon. 

We kept waiting. Finally at almost 1PM Pearl and her sister showed up. Pearl glanced at me and said "your clothes are OK" then she glanced at Erin and said "your underwear  is showing and we dress modestly in Korea". Erin looked at me with a bewildered look on her face. You see, Erin had a V-neck long sleeve T with a lace-edge tank top underneath. She had ZERO cleavage showing and everything was covered. She also had a pair of jeans on. Pearl then stated that she had to change because she wasn't following the dress code. Pearl then watched and waited as Erin rummaged in her suitcase for something to wear. Erin was flustered and visibly upset. When we were all ready we all climbed in the van and set off for the school. 

The school is located in a very high traffic area in the city where there is a Starbucks (a Godsend) across the street. There are classrooms in every room as well as a teacher's kitchen, dining area, a parent's waiting area, and a study lab for the students. Every classroom is named after a famous university like Oxford, Harvard, etc... 

The moment we came in and met the 3 American teachers that worked there I knew that we had the potential to be friends. The Parks had trashed talked about a particular teacher the second we got into their apartment on our first day in Korea. Her name is Tiffany and she seems to be in her mid to late 30's. They had told us that she was very disrespectful and that she was stupid, awful teacher, etc. I was given the impression that she was a ditzy, stupid, complaining, and bitter girl. The moment I met Tiffany I was tele-ported back to 2nd grade. Here was a sweet, soft-spoken, very kind woman who offered to show me around the place and help me with whatever I needed. She reminded me of Ms. Honey from the movie Matilda. I was like surely the Parks were completely wrong about her. I came to find out that they hate her. They absolutely without a doubt loathe her and treat her horribly (more on that, later).

Before Pearl left, she left some not so precise instructions. She stated more or less that she wanted me to give private lessons to a boy and she wanted Erin to go with one of the teachers. She then handed me a book with the teacher's key and told me to look it over before the little boy came in. I was like "uhh, okkaaay sure". She also told me that the boy was and I quote "a little bit retarded because he was left back a year at school". I said "no problem".  Pearl then left the school to run errands and the little boy came in a short while later. I don't know why I was expecting to see quite possibly a kid with Down Syndrome or something but the little boy who I met was perfectly normal. He answered all of my questions and volunteered answers. I didn't know where the "little retarded" part of him was but it def. was not present with me.

After I finished with him I went to sit in a class that Tiffany was teaching and I had the Ms. Honey flashbacks again. She is the perfect teacher is all I will say. Kind and caring and never has a bad thing to say. These kids looked like they needed a little TLC. After the class I went to the teacher's office area and noticed that Erin looked really freaked out. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeded to tell me that she couldn't say cause Pearl was a few feet away talking to some parents. We then tried speaking in French but had issues due to the fact that Erin couldn't remember certain words. Luckily Andrew (a fellow American teacher) took us out to get lunch at a little whole in the wall. I managed to get a  dish of beef with onions and peppers with noodles. When we got back I noticed that the beef is old and that the noodles have the look and texture of worms. It was hard to swallow but seeing as how I had no other choice and was hungry I managed to do it. Afterwards I sat in with other teachers in their classes.

That evening as we were closing up I found out that United/Asiana has officially lost my luggage and I was stuck here with nothing more than what I was wearing at that moment. I lost it at that point and started to cry. Pearl saw that I left the room and came after me to reprimand me about something but after she saw my face she got all maternal. At that moment I realized that I seriously wanted to get the hell out of this country. Tiffany then told me that she had no problem taking me to a store to buy the essentials. Pearl said "we will take you to the store". Erin then said "Oh no, Tiffany wanted to take us if that's OK". We then hauled ass and got out of there. Andrew and Bequer joined us because they had nothing to do. I must say that it was the most fun that I've had since I have gotten here. We walked past store lit up in neon signs. Also, you should know that most of the sidewalks in Gwang-ju are made of marble and since salting is not a priority we almost broke various body parts trying to walk down the streets. 

We ended up and E-Mart another version of Wal-Mart and looked through the clothes and had to settle for a hoodie, socks, a blanket, a towel, 1 sweater, and 1 shirt. Ugh I look as though I belong back in 1985. At least I don't have to worry about my looks since 1. I am not scouting for guys and 2. I just don't care right now. Once we finished our shipping we took a cab back to the Park's place and once we got in were met at the door by both Pearl and her husband. She then proceeded to insinuate that it was my fault my bags were lost. She then saw the Kermit the frog green blanket and asked what was that. I said it was for me because I was very cold and I needed a blanket. She then gave us a dirty look and we proceeded to our room. We then heard them having dinner (we were never invited) and we proceeded to eat our rationed cookies/cereal. Had I had any Idea that we weren't going too be given dinner then I would've gone out. But we didn't know and so we went to bed hungry yet again for the 3rd straight day.

This morning they gave us their leftovers from last night: sliced carrots and a few pieces of broccoli and some shredded meat with mushrooms (less that 1/2 a cup). They also left us pureed clementines with pureed onions in the "beverage". It tells you a lot about how hungry I am because I drank it all. Erin almost threw it up over the dining table. Anyway I've got to get ready for work- Adios!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

It snowed all day yesterday so everything looks pristine and clean. Maybe that's why I feel so optimistic. I am eating my rationed Froot Loops as I type this. They are delicious! Not quite as Frooty as the ones back home but they will do. I was able to wash by hand my socks and undies in the sink because as of yet we haven't been offered the use of their washing machine. I used a soap that I purchased at Lotte Mart called cucumber massage soap. It smells exactly like the vegetable. But it's either that or B.O. and I don't know about you but I'd rather smell like a vegetable.

Yesterday, Erin and I were left a small pot of rice and two raw eggs on the dining room table. We were also left a small bag of bread and a jar of jam. Erin and I mixed the the rice with the egg in a small bowl. It would've been delicious except for the fact that there was no salt. But then again beggars can't be choosers. Erin ate the tasteless mixture first and said it was like a rice omelet. I think she said this to encourage me to eat it. I can assure you that it tasted nothing like an omelet. We then set our sights on the bread. It looked like it was home made and it tasted heavenly. We slathered some jam and downed 2 slices each. As we ate we tried to identify the jam. The jar had no labels so we assumed it was home made. We played a game of Guess What That Is. It was fun! So Erin and I spent a good chunk of the morning guessing what was in the jam. It was the only way to kill the time. 

The afternoon was spent setting up the nifty blog that you are reading now. We then watched The Hangover on Erin's computer. We were pretty hungry afterwards so we went back into the kitchen where the leftover bread was and we ate 1 slice because we didn't want to seem greedy. We then figured that the family would be home around seven and they would make us dinner because they had to make sure that we had dinner. Surely they wouldn't let us go a second day without food. That's preposterous! 

Wrong yet again. We naively thought that they would be home by 9PM. Erin and I went back into the kitchen and finished the last 2 slices. At this point I was livid and decided that we were going to stay up till whenever these people got home and we were going to confront them. They were not getting past us. We were so determined that we left the bedroom door open and had music playing loudly in our room. The family got home at 11:30PM. They were surprised to find us awake. Erin decided to be sneaky and get a glass of water. The family seemed embarrassed to find us awake and we were asked if we had gone into town (as if they didn't know). They also seemed embarrassed to find that we hadn't had dinner. They proceeded to invite us to join them for a dinner of boiled eggs and toast. I had 1 egg and 1 piece  of toast.  At this rate I will be losing far more pounds than earlier anticipated (I guess that this is the supermodel diet).

We then proceeded to talk about the school and when we would be starting our orientation. Pearl informed us that we were supposed to go Tuesday and sit in on the classes. When she was telling us this the husband asked her abruptly "What about the apartment?". She stated that she had gone to see 2 apartments but that they were "not good". What does that even mean? I have no idea. As were were talking Erin and I had phony smiles on our faces and the entire time I wanted to scream "GET ME MY APARTMENT!!!". Eventually we talked about the school and how they don't have whipping sticks so we cannot beat the children. They informed us that in Korea the teachers whip, hit, kick, and curse at their students. Especially in Math and Science classes. I stated that I cannot beat a child and she said "No! No! you don't have to. You send them to me and I will take care of it". I seriously hope that I don't have to send any kids to her office whenever she is PMS'ing is all I'm gonna say. We were also informed that we should focus on the brighter more advanced students and not care as much for the slower less talented students. Apparently the "slower and stupider" students just "don't want to learn". I just nodded but made eye contact with Erin from across the table (It was almost as if we could read each other's mind). I said that I am very positive and high energy and that will be my method. I don't want to make a student feel bad by mocking them and calling them names. She said there was a teacher who did just that and got results. I said I believe in positive reinforcement. I think she was not pleased with that but I don't give a flying fig. We shall see whose method gets the better end result.

I'm off to get ready for school and to see if they (hahaha) left us any breakfast. Adios for now!

Nanny Cam

This morning I was woken up by 2 Koreans yelling at each other. It was a little discombobulating and unsettling not knowing what the hell they were talking about. 

I doubt we are being served breakfast today because the husband had to go to work. I don't know whether this is a good or a bad thing. Since we didn't get dinner last night I am starving so we ate the last 2 Pop Tarts and some dried Frosted Flakes. They were heavenly. 

I am starting to get the very strong impression that the Headmistress/wife of the husband, Pearl is either Bi-polar or depressed. This past weekend she stayed in her bedroom and didn't venture out to even eat her meals with the rest of us. The two times that we saw her she was wearing the same clothes she wore the day before and seemed dazed. Her husband keeps saying  the same "I think you should ask Pearl" whenever we ask when we are moving into our apartment. We would def. ask her if we ever saw her. He also says that the reason that she's in her room is that she is sick. BS is all I've got to say. She is avoiding us like the plague and I think it's because she doesn't have a place for us yet. I'm putting my foot down today because I need to have the freedom to cook and settle down into my own place. 

Anyway, Erin and I went to Lotte Mart yesterday. It's Korea's version of Wal-Mart. There are sales people in every aisle. It was very odd because the sales people are screaming stuff out loud to get your attention. It reminded me of those old ladies that give you samples at Costco except that this time they were screaming at the top of their lungs as well.
As Erin and I wandered through the aisles we were stared at by every single person. It didn't help that I was taller than the shelves in the store so you could see me from across the store. Some sales people were very excited to help us especially since it meant that they could speak English with 2 Americans. Other times I was met with very hostile stares. Some people were downright rude but since I realized that I could snap them in two I didn't really care. When we went to the shampoo aisle we were approached by 3 sales women who were very eager to help us pick the right shampoo. There were whole families that stared openly or would just stand there and look at us as we tried to pick out our stuff. It was a very very weird and uncomfortable feeling. 

After we paid for our things we went into the food court where there was a McDonald's knock off and ate chicken sandwich meals. We had to explain to 2 different people that we didn't want Teriyaki or mustard in our sandwiches. As we ate we noticed a moldy feet smell wafting in around us. The other food shops in the court were selling noodle dishes that reeked. At first Erin and I thought it was us but as we looked around- everyone had dishes that could barely be identified. 

When we arrived at our building we realized that it wasn't  our building at all. After finding the correct building we found that no one was home. We then tried the In-laws apt which happened to be in the same building. The grandmother got us into the empty apartment. Erin wanted water when we got home so she went through the million different drawers to find 2 mugs. We then drank water to our heart's content. Later that night after the family got home, the father came and told us where to find the mugs. We had never asked him where they were so we wondered how he knew we had looked for them. Erin became suspicious and stated  that they must have a camera installed in their apartment.

I had my doubts but then today after a lunch of egg with rice, I started looking around the dining area and the living room. Erin noticed domes that were attached to the ceiling. They were white instead of the black ones you see in department stores. They had 1 in the living room and 1 in the kitchen area. That is how we know that they can see us. 

I swear that I feel as though I'm in prison. Erin is now wondering if they can hear us too. When she said that I realized that I just didn't care. If they don't give us our apartment then I will continue to speak my mind (in our bedroom of course). 

Gwang-Ju

After a 15 hour flight, Erin and I arrived at Incheon airport. My luggage is still in America and I am beyond upset. The wonderful people at BWI did not tag my bags correctly. When I got to the luggage counter the Asiana Airlines man saw my furious face and just looked like he was too scared to tell me what I already knew. He just bowed and smiled a nervous smile. He apologized and then told me that he didn't know when I would get my stuff. So for now, Erin is being gracious enough to share her clothes with me. After waiting 4 hours in the terminal, we finally met our liaison who was supposed to take us to the bus terminal for our "3 hour" bus ride to Gwang-ju. FYI- It was NOT 3 hours at all. It was 6 hours. The scenery reminded me of the PA turnpike. At times it looked like were driving through the Poconos or Deep Creek Lake. 

I am currently sitting in a bedroom in my "host-family's" apartment. It's a very swanky place with many bedrooms and a massive balcony (def. not your typical apt in Korea). Erin and I are extremely uncomfortable though because we can't even do what we want. I want to be able to go out and about and all Erin wants to do is have a bowl of cereal. We are extremely hungry. This morning we had what looked like thickly sliced potatoes in a grey gooey broth. I can tell you with certainty that it was most definitely NOT potatoes they were chewy/gelatinous ground rice cakes with tofu. I am trying not to gag as I recall how I had to eat this (In front of the father) while fighting my gag reflex. I am sleeping on the floor in this Korean style bed. All it is is a thin futon mattress on the floor. You'd think it would suck but since the floor is heated it's not that bad. We had to take our shower in this space agey bathroom. Erin just said it was like "from the Jetsons". I agree. She followed me to the bathroom to figure out how to use the shower. It wasn't as simple as one might think because there were roughly 12 knobs on wall under the shower head. After breakfast, Erin and I were invited to take a walk. We ended up hiking up a mountain that was beside the building. FYI- mountains are everywhere!!! After wheezing and coughing our way back to the apt. we were then served lunch which was a step up from breakfast. It was Ramen noodles with unidentifiable things in the liquid. I am working really hard at trying to keep things down. Erin stated that she will try any of the foods presented to her at least once. She has come to regret that decision.
I am currently rationing out my Pop-Tarts (I have 2 left) so that I can eat something in the morning. Another thing that is getting old fast is this "Cashew tea" that they drink instead of water. I have for the last 2 days drank all my water from the sink in the bathroom because they don't drink water from the tap or the bottle. This morning I asked for a glass of water to take some Tylenol and I was given lukewarm tea. Sigh...have I ever told you guys how much I despise tea? I absolutely avoid it at all costs. I also miss caffeine...a lot. That is all for now.