Buffets

Wednesday morning Ali and I woke up early to try to get to the Pearl Harbor memorial. We promptly got ready and went to the breakfast buffet before heading out (as suggested by my mom who told us to go to the buffet about 7 times though phone as well as text messages). When we got there I thought to myself: Now THIS is what a buffet should be.

You see in Korea our friend Christina took us to several buffets including one where the server would bring a dish out and then ring a bell. I swear that as soon as that bell would ring people would literally throw down their forks and run to the buffet counter to get what was brought out. It was sorta funny- you would hear everyone's forks drop in unison and make a mad run for it like there were free diamonds for the taking if you got up there in time. Then you'd see people pushing and shoving each other to get pizza or some Alfredo pasta. Ali and Christina were the most successful people in the place. It was as though Christina knew when that bell would be rung (it also helped that we were seated by the kitchen). Christina may be small but jeez! The girl can run fast. She has no problem being aggressive in the food counter area. It also helped to have Ali tower over everyone. He has long legs so he was able to dash and be the first in the line many times. It was comical how he stood over the others and people would have to look around his body to see what was available. It was like dinner and a movie all in one.

As Erin and I just watched this scene be repeated over and over I though in amusement of what it would be like if the US did the same thing. Think about it... There would at least be a mass murder being committed over a plate of fried chicken. A couple of stabbings over the mac and cheese. In the US the idea of a bowl of food for one restaurant is ludicrous. No serious buffet restaurant would even bother with the idea of a little of this and a dash of that. It goes against the idea of what a buffet is about: consumption of a large quantity and variety of food.

Back to the buffet at the hotel. It was a massive waste of money on us only because I could only eat a little bit and Ali ate only 4 tiny waffles. We were def. food coma'ing. The juice though is heaven sent. They had this passion fruit, orange, and guava juice that is the greatest concoction know to human kind. It was so good in fact that our server had to bring Ali a fish bowl sized glass because she had to keep refilling his other glass way too often.

So I am heading out to see the sights. Aloha!

How in the hell did I end up in Honolulu?

OK so in the following blogs I will talk about what happened when I left Korea. Before I do that I HAVE to tell you what is happening NOW.

So I am sitting typing this blog in a hotel on Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. Yes, THE Hawaii. Why would a girl who was supposed to fly from the Korea to Maryland be in Hawaii right now? The answer is simple- Our plane in Tokyo was overbooked. I wasn't too miffed. As the gate people called stanby passengers at the gate I thought to myself- Whatev. I've been really stressed, sad, weak/sick, and overwhelmed by my last month in Korea so a little travel snafu isn't that big of a deal. It's not like I'm running to catch a cruise ship or get to a wedding on time- you know?

So we were rebooked by an adorable little gate agent who bowed a lot and cracked up when I pulled out my googly eyed cow (more on that later) pen to sign some papers. I guess the cow brought us some good mojo cause he re booked us to Honolulu to catch a flight from there to Atlanta and from there to Baltimore. Let me tell you that I still am and was beyond exhausted. I was anxious and couldn't de-stress to save my life.

I didn't sleep on any of my flights but we finally taxied onto Honolulu International Airport. That's when I got the brilliant idea of exploring the island while we were here since our connecting flight wasn't until that afternoon. I was told by the airport people that everything was really close so we could def. explore. Then that afternoon idea turned into an overnight one which in turn turned into 2 days. I mean- essentially we are in Hawaii unexpectedly and why not take advantage of it. We are already here so let's see it all!

Fast forward to Ali (my quasi-cousin) and I getting into our room. We pass out 30 minutes later and wake up at 4PM. We promptly decided to get something to eat so we went to an open air market where I had the greatest grilled chicken kabobs ever! It felt like the greatest and most filling meal in the world only because I've had some pretty inedible food in K-Town. Ali and I went shopping on the streets for a bathing suit, towels and things that you need when you go to a tropical place. Seeing as how ALL of the clothes that I packed are for very cold weather.

So tomorrow Ali and I plan on seeing the Pearl Harbor memorial and we plan on going shark cage diving (which if anybody knows has always been one of my dreams). By the way- I am beyond confused by the time. I don't have ANY idea what time it is here, Korea, or Maryland. I am so messed up by also going through the 20th of April twice. I forgot that we crossed the Date Time line which threw me off... a lot! Also- hearing people speak English is mind blowing! I keep responding with Anyoung Hi Keseyo whenever I leave sales person. I keep reminding myself that I am in a bona fide US state. The problem here is that there are many many Asian tourists here so I keep thinking that I am back is Korea. Whatchagonnado?

Well Aloha for now or is it Ma halo? Whatever!

Side note for my former roommate and dearest friend- I miss you a lot and will call you once I get back home.

The Devil doesn't cry, her eyes were just sweating.

The day that I told Ruby that I was leaving was the day that I was at my sickest. You see on our way to school Ali had to pretty much half carry me up the street. I hadn't slept the entire night and I had this dizzy fog thing going. As we approached our street Grunter pulled up with Ruby in the passenger seat. If I have ever been given the death glare then this was it. The one that would have had me dead and buried. Grunter just squinted her evil eyes and twisted her mouth while Ruby gave me the motherly caring look (I was kinda thrown off b/c let's face it- El Diablo isn't really supposed to be able to do that). Then Ruby asked "What's wrong?" really lady?! WHAT'S WRONG?!!! What the H do you think is wrong? I've only been sick for...oh I don't know 3 weeks and I've gotten progressively worse and you don't care! That's whats flippin' wrong!!! As all this raced through my head I realized that I had to get a grip. So I told Ruby in the most stern voice that I could muster "We need to talk".

If there were any 4 scarier words in the English language than those then I don't know them. Ruby looked scared and gave me a half whispered "Oh, OK". She was scared merde-less. I finally had the upper hand. Ali then helped me walk to the class. Ruby retreated into her office.

I made my way to the teachers lounge where I gave away my stickers, marking pens, paper, notebooks, and most importantly- germ sanitizer gel. Then I summoned my courage and walked to her office. As I'm walking I am conjuring up images of being taken hostage/ prisoner, of being set-up so that I ended up in a Korean prison, etc. I mean these people have the way and the means to pull of something like that. Then I remembered- Hey! I have a Dominican mother who would beat the bloody pulp out of this woman and anyone else that would cross paths with her children. I mean my mother had my elementary,middle, and high school teachers scared stiff. Side note: Dominican women have slightly shorter fuses and have a tendency to be kinda scary if you mess with them.

Anyway I straightened up and opened her office door (without knocking) I told her that we needed to talk. She replied "do we have to do this now? Can it wait?". I said "No, It needs to be done right now". The color drained from her face when informed her that I was leaving and that I couldn't work in Korea anymore. My health was deteriorating, I was getting weaker, and that if I didn't come home very soon then my mother was gonna have to come and get me...and that she would be really pissed about having to do that. Ruby then tried to offer me 2 weeks rest and then I could return. When she said this all I thought was what part of -the Yellow Dust is making me ill- do you not get?

Finally I said "I am too sick and I gotta go home. I will be leaving now".

Suddenly, Satan started to cry. I sat there sorta trying to figure out why her eyes where watering up. Did she have something in her eyes? Maybe she was currently taking medication and this was one of its side effects? Maybe she had recently heard a very tragic story in the news and was NOW crying about it. There were many possibilities but I NEVER thought that she was crying about my leaving. Either ways- when it finally dawned on me that she was in fact crying, my eyes got a bit wider and I mouthed "Oh" (perplexed stare).

Suddenly she opens up her arms sorta like Moses did when parting the Red Sea and I didn't get it until seconds later that she wanted a hug. A HUG?! WTH! I forced my body to half hug/pat her on the back but I did it the same way that you would hug a feces-covered baby hippo. With disgust, some anger, and a minuscule bit of pity.

When I left her office I told Ali that we could leave and as we put on our shoes I looked back at my desk, my BFF, Tooly,and my classroom for one last time and walked out.

Called out yet again.

So I didn't go to work today. While some of the meds are working, I know that they give me horrible stomach pains. They make me nauseous and dizzy. My voice isn't entirely back to normal either. I am super ready to go back home. I miss clean air and Purell-ed hands. I miss people with manners and soap in the bathrooms along with paper towels. I miss people sneezing into tissues instead of one's face. I really really miss my family.

I will tell you this. I can't wait to see Ruby's face when I tell her that I am finished with her and this school. I am anticipating it.

Clinic round 2

Wednesday morning I was woken up by sharp ear and throat pains. They were so bad that I decided then and there to go back to the clinic. I knew that they really didn't speak English but I figured that they had my records so I wouldn't have to start from square one. It was sorta nice. Scary because Christina wasn't there but sorta nice because the I had the same doctor again. When he checked my throat he used a metal Popsicle stick. Much like their American wooden counterparts but these were made of metal. As the doc placed the metal stick in my mouth I wondered exactly how many people had the exact same stick in their mouth.

Then the doc pulled out a note pad and wrote acute pharyngitis. I thought to myself that I knew this had to be something bad since it hurt so badly. He printed my prescription and I went back out to pay my tab. it came to the shockingly low price of 8,500 Won. that's about 7 bucks.

When I went to the pharmacy I was told that I had to take 4 MORE pills 3 times a day. That comes to a total of 20 pills in one day! I returned home and that's when I decided to go to work. I was sleepy, dizzy, really tired, and the meds were giving me a stomach ache. I told Erin to tell Ruby that I would eventually be in even though I was very tired. I walked into work about 5 seconds after Ruby had arrived with Juvie. Apparently Erin had already told her what was going on with me. As soon as I arrived Ruby said "oh, you are still sick, it's OK you can go home if you want".

I swear you could have heard a pin drop. Erin's eyes got huge, Ali's mouth flopped open like a bass, I just stared her in the face. That's when I said "No, I can take it". If I was a naive girl I would have happily turned around but I know better than that. Lucifer doesn't do something out of the goodness of her "heart". She would have made me pay for going home. She is evil and would have probably told me to work on the weekend to make up for it. So I sucked it up and dragged throughout the day. BTW- my first student didn't come to the school because he was "very very sick". Oh really? I wonder why.

A-choo!

My asthma has been aggravated by the Yellow Dust as well as a mild cold due to being subjected to countless sneezes and coughs in my classes. Even Ruby who I swear summons me into her office just so that she can cough on my face. Whenever I step back she takes a step forward. She doesn't even have the decency of covering her mouth. Anyway- my mild cold turned into the flu. At the time I had no idea what was going on and assumed that I was just really stressed and tired. I realized that something was wrong when I had trouble getting out of bed and had ZERO energy.

Apparently my symptoms had gotten far worse so on Monday I asked Christina to take me to a doctor. We went to Shinsegae Medical Clinic. I swear that the moment that we stepped into the clinic I was transported into the Ritz or maybe the Four Seasons. It was beyond chi-chi. I'm talking crystal chandeliers, water fountains, and a lady cleaning the floors on her hands and knees. As we stepped up to the counter I mentally tallied how much I was going to have to pay. I was pretty sure that It was gonna involve several zeros at the end.

When Christina was checking me in, the women at the front desk asked her what my Korean name was because my current "American name" wasn't gonna work. While I stared at her like an imbecile repeating that phrase over and over in my head (I swear I didn't understand) Christina said "How about the Korean name that I made for you?". I said "that's perfect!". Then the counter ladies asked about my last name because it wasn't going to work either. Uh oh. I told Christina to give them her last name and that way we could sorta be related. She said uh...why don't we think of something as close to my real last name as possible. So ladies and gents I give you my full Korean name: Park Hee Sun. Park is my last name and Hee Sun is my first. I kinda like it.

After getting checked in, talking to the doc via Christina, getting chest X-Rays, and an lung test I was told that I had the always crowd pleasing bronchitis. The doctor then asked (semi-jokingly) if I perhaps lived in a cave. I gave a puzzled no. He said that everything has been aggravated by several things- 1. Yellow Dust and 2. Rapid temperature changes. I told him that I work in a building that is freezing so much that my fingernails turn blue(due to no heating) and when I walk to work it's usually in the 50's. So I'm going from mild to freezing in a matter of minutes. He said that's why everything got worse and why I've been having trouble breathing.

He prescribed 4 different medicines that I have to take twice a day. FYI- medicines here are not given in a bottle/tube. They are given in little sealed plastic bags that have the exact dosage. It's shockingly convenient!

Oh and the doc's visit cost me 35,500 Won. Which is about $30.00. Not too shabby!

Since I didn't go into work, Ruby's husband Mr. Samurai rang my doorbell incessantly at 5PM to "check on you because Ruby was worried". HA! Worried my arse! She was checking to see if #1 I was partying up with Ali and #2 to see if I was even there.

I really truly hate these people. Hasta luego!

Ali is here!

Ali (my quasi-cousin) arrived from the States on Thursday. He appeared at the school while I was in the middle of teaching a class. Our arrangement had been that I was going to pick him up at the bus station that night. He decided that instead of waiting around in the airport- he would just surprise me. well he def. did. I was insanely happy because he had made it here safe and sound.

Oddly enough Juvie (a new teacher from Jersey) arrived at the New School that day. He seemed like a nice guy but I couldn't pinpoint why I didn't trust him. Maybe i had to do with the questions that he was asking us. It seemed as if he was parroting Ruby. "So uh what do you think of this school?" and "So what do you think of your boss?". C'mon really Juvie?! Can't you be a teensy bit less obvious? Try to be a little sneakier perhaps. Oh! The best thing about him is that he is completely convinced that Ruby is the greatest human being on the planet. Her family is perfect and that "it's really great hanging out with them!". Oh tsk tsk. Poor, stupid, gullible boy. They are only acting this way for two reasons: 1. they want to suck you in so that you report back to them about us. and 2. Ali is here as well and they want you both to see that this is a super magnificent school and that if we have ever said anything bad about her or the school then we are obviously mistaken.

That day Juvie ended up passing out in Erin's class and Ali did the same thing in mine. The excitement, stress, and jet lag had caught up to both of them. Shockingly enough- Ruby allowed Juvie to sleep on a chair in the study room behind her office. It's almost scary how she is acting around him. Kind of like a mother shark who is slowly swimming around her offspring protecting them and slowly gaining their trust. Eventually when the offspring decides to do something that she doesn't like then SNAP! She has decided that she can't tolerate being phony anymore and he will be torn to pieces. Personally Erin and I can't wait for the day that happens.

By the way- I had been sick for almost 2 weeks at that point. It is all because people here never ever cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze so I was getting "sprayed" all the flippin' time. I mean this place is a flippin' cesspool of germs. Of course it doesn't help that the bathrooms don't have soap or paper towels. People do their business and go on their merry own way. It's beyond disgusting. I've taken to carrying around my bottle of hand sanitizer and box of tissues to my classes.

Goodbye, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu!

So our Miami has definitely been fired. We had a goodbye dinner for him on Tuesday night after work. I was going to skip out but Erin convinced me to go. Apparently the flu is not a good enough excuse to miss out on his farewell.

We went to eat some Sangupsal which is Korean BBQ. I always have thought eh, it's no big deal. This time though Boys Team took us to a place by their side of town. It was casual and they had wrestling on the big screen TV. I was just worried that I wouldn't be able to taste anything since being sick does that to me but let's face it- The food here sucks... a lot so would it have mattered?

This time we ordered marinated beef and strips of pork that resembled super thick pieces of bacon. All I was able to eat was the small bowl of rice and some pieces of meat. Everything else that they placed on our tables did not resemble anything remotely edible.

After the food we headed out to a tavern where everyone ordered beer. I (sadly) got myself Cider (a Sprite like soda) and wolfed down some Service (free) popcorn. While we were there we took pictures and talked about our time together.

Eventually I had to leave because I was still sick and my head was killing me. I hugged my friend for the last time and headed home. Where I proceeded to pop two NyQuils and pass out.

The next morning, I found out that everyone else had gone to karaoke. Apparently I had missed Miami's one and only solo rendition of "Hero" by Mariah Carrey. Luckily Erin taped it.

Head for the hills!!!

If you don't hear from Erin or myself in the next few days it's because we escaped in the middle of the night. Erin will be carrying her 2 normal sized suitcases and I will be carrying 2 massive dinosaurs along with several bags full of souvenirs, all our cups/chopsticks/pans/cutting board/monkey mat/Howard and anything else that we bought for the apartment. I will look like a bona fide refugee. Right now as I type this Erin and I want to make sure that we cook whatever we have left in our refrigerator and cupboard. Erin is eating the last bit of rice with sliced carrots. I ate for the millionth time spaghetti and sauce. I also have a few Moon pies as well as a bit of rice left. I guess we will have a smorgasbord the night before we leave so that we will have enough energy to run.

Erin and I eerily woke up in a cold sweat because we had the exact same dream. Lucifer and her minions showed up at the apartment during our weekend. They wanted us to do work during The Weekend. They would bang on our door and ring the doorbell while Erin and I cowered in the balcony of our apartment waiting for them to leave. Then (gasp!) we hear the door being unlocked with a spare key. At this point we wake up shaking and looking around to make sure that that scenario wasn't really happening. We wake up from one nightmare to discover that we live in another one. Sigh.

As of yet the whole running away scenario is a huge possibility. We are waiting it out because as of right now its in the back of our minds. Erin and I have reached a point where we can't deal with all this anymore. I feel as though I haven't exactly failed in Korea but maybe Korea has failed me. Satan, Hitler, and Narky (who isn't important enough to have an important bad guy name) are beyond describable. Their logic defies all reason. They are the stuff that came out of Pandora's Box when it was opened.

Side note: Somebody is cooking something rather smelly in one of the apartments around us. Since I am sitting by the window I can smell the odor wafting into our apartment. Erin just said "Do you smell garlic bread?" Me: "Nope, I smell something funky coming in through that window." Erin: "Noo... I smell garlic bread." (she sniffs the air as she says this) Me: "Nope, I guaran-..." Erin: "IT'S NOT GARLIC BREAD!!! What is it?!"

Me: "I told you".

We are gonna see how this all works out in the next week or so. I will keep you posted. Hasta luego!

See you later 'gator!

So Erin and I found out from Miami that he has been "unofficially fired". What does that mean? That he is fired but is not supposed to know anything about it yet. What did he do when he found out? He went to Busan to celebrate! Ok so he isn't exactly thrilled about this situation and not many people would be (except for me). So yeah- I hate the school and our psycho/ bipolar boss. She makes my job a living hell. Erin is considering going on strike. I would except that I have the flu right now so all I can do is stand for a few minutes at a time. But I would back her up in spirit!

Erin was getting sucked into their nice/kind little routine. I warned her as she was getting sucked in that these people were shockingly evil, manipulative, and scheming. Traits that are great on Survivor but not in an employer. She has now seen them for who they really are- Satan.

Hasta luego!

The Korean Flu

So, Thursday night rolled around and I noticed that I was extremely tired and my body hurt. I assumed this was due to the stress from my job. Boy was I wrong. The next morning (after not sleeping very well) I woke up and wondered why I was dizzy, freezing, and in pain. I figured this was some freaky cold so I popped two DayQuils and headed to school. On the way to school I got progressively worse. By the time I arrived at the school I thought I was going to faint so I sat at my desk and turned on the heater. I couldn't get my body warm enough and my head felt like it was going to explode.

Ruby sashayed her way into the school hours after we had gotten there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I felt very sick. She grunted (as usual) and said "oh, that's too bad. I was overcome with the feeling of punching her in the face. I supressed it (as always). I had such little energy that I had to teach from my desk. This meant no hand gestures or joking during class. My students were not thrilled to say the least but at least I managed not to pass out. At the end of my class which went on for two hours straight I was relieved to know that all I had to do now was post some questions for the homework online and then go home. At this point I was hanging on by a thread.

Ruby then comes into my empty classroom and says "Ooh Jennifer I know you are sick but can you teach one more class?". Let's see...Hmm...No I couldn't but we both knew that she wasn't asking me. She was telling me that I had another class. At this point I had already taught 5 hours straight with no break times. As soon as my student sat down Ruby tells me that I had to "entertain this student for 15 minutes because the other girl wasn't here yet". When I was told this I just took a deep breath and turned toward the board to write my name. As I was writing my name my eyes started to tear up and all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out. To be honest what I wanted was my mother to comfort me and pat my back, my dogs around me, and a big bowl of chicken noodle soup. Since I had none of the above I decided to get a grip and handle this class. The problem was that my body wasn't having that. I swear that I was dizzy and and in a ton of pain. Ruby then said if she wanted Erin to give half the class since I was so sick. I replied that I did. Erin came in and took care of the rest of the class (God bless her). I then had time to post questions for all my classes which meant that I was gonna get home before passing out.

I hate Ruby. Friday sucked. I am looking forward to recuperating after a horrible horrible day. Oh and by the way I have the flu.