The Greatest Weekend Ever!

OK before I start telling you about my super great weekend I need to fast forward to 2 hours ago. I arrived at the apartment at 7PM from Seoul. I see a note on my door stating that something was urgent and that we needed to call either The Grunter or Ruby. I thought that someone had died so I called them immediately. Actually, I mulled it over for about half an hour. Anyway- I called and the Grunter tells me (in an accusatory tone of course) that they tried to deliver my closets but no one was home. I said that I had just gotten home (she demanded to know where I was so I told them). They told me to wait and that they were on their way here (to my place). All I know is that twenty minutes later I happen to glance out my window and I see a man staring back at me. I, of course, scream and almost pee myself. Let me remind you that I live on the seventh floor and that there is nothing but air out my window. He was on a platform that was attached to one of those extendable ladder things that they have on the fire trucks. Apparently that's how they deliver stuff here. The Grunter and Ruby arrive with their husbands just then to say where these giant closets are to be placed. I have absolutely no say in the matter. The guy on the platform comes through my window and removes the windows in my bedroom as well as the balcony's. They then lift up the side of the building the closets. They weighed easily 150-200 pounds each. They look dirty and used. I guess at this point I should be grateful for what I get but I must say that these monstrosities are ridiculous. They smell old and musty. They take up the wall beside my bed. Ruby went into Erin's room and was upset to find that Erin had moved her bed around. She was mad because the giant chest couldn't be put in her room. I tell her it's because she really couldn't open her drawers.  She then decides to move our refrigerator from it's rightful place and place it against the flower wall. She decided that Erin's closet will take that spot. I think to myself that this is a HUGE mistake because now her clothes are going to have a combination musty food smell. They proceed to open our refrigerator and help themselves to my last two remaining apples. They also opened my drawers. They sawed some wood in our bathroom so that the closets would be even at the bottom. They tore up my bedroom floor by dragging the closets on it. They stepped on my bed with their nasty feet. I am now washing my comforter. The entire time they are all over the apartment opening drawers and helping themselves to our food. This was a HUGE downer to my otherwise super day. BTW- as these people were leaving Ruby tells me that "maybe we should meet tomorrow". I think to myself "HELL TO THE NO!". I keep calm and say "on my day off?". She says "Uh, yes we should prepare for the class you are starting to teach on Tuesday". I can't stop myself and say "really, but we are off aren't we?". She then says "how can I contact you?". I reply "by email, but at what time are we meeting because I made plans?". She then gets what I like to call Evil Face and says "well, I don't know. I guess we can meet Tuesday morning". I reply with a "great! see ya then!" and I shut the door. I know she's pissed but I don't really care. It's MY DAY OFF. I am now going to make sure that I am unreachable on the weekends. 

Seoul is probably one of the coolest cities that I have ever been to. It is vibrant, exciting, new, very different from anything I've seen anywhere else. I arrived in Seoul at 1PM and made my way to the subway station. I arrived in Itaewon which I swear that the second I stepped onto the street I was thrown back to New York City but with nicer people. I saw Americans, Latinos,

every race and color. I thought to myself that THIS is where I should have come to teach. I immediately set off to find Family Hair Salon which is where most non-Caucasian or Asian go to get their hair done. I arrive to find the stylist having lunch and they tell me to go upstairs. I go up the dangerously steep stairs to find 2 girls waiting to get their hair done. They say "Hi" and introduce themselves. Once they find out that I was from Gwangju they say "Oh, we heard a story of  a girl who arrived and was fired in a month. She had the Worst bosses". I thought to myself it can't be who I think it is so I say "Was her name Tiffany?". They say "Yeah, Oh my God how did you know?". I replied with a "Uh, I work at the school she was in and I have the same bosses". They give me the pity look and from there we click and discuss grabbing some lunch afterwards.  We emerge from the salon looking and feeling great. We head over to a Mexican restaurant. I am giddy as I anticipate guacamole, burritos, nachos, and more. We have a fabulous time at Los Amigos. The girls then invite me to go shopping with them so I eagerly go. We show up at one of the trendiest shopping district. That's  were we notice tons of people checking out a grand opening. I gasp when I notice the sign (in English of course) of H&M opening their first store in Korea. We spy the velvet ropes and red carpet. We make our way over to the entrance of the ropes and we are allowed in line to go in. There's pandemonium everywhere. People are trying to get in but can't (I don't know why because we were let in). There are guards all over the place. It's like a club was opening or something. We finally are allowed to enter H&M and see craziness. People were pushing, shoving, yelling all over. I spy a really cute sweater and as my hand clamps on the sleeve another Korean girl grabs the other sleeve. I stare at her with my Black Friday Face. You know the one you have when shopping on Black Friday for something that a store might have only twelve of. She promptly let's go of the sleeve and I make my purchase. Afterwards we went all over and the girls ask me where I was staying. I told them that I couldn't book anything online with my Korean credit card. They ask me if I want to go to their hotel and book room there. I say yeah after finding out that is uber cheap and very clean. I get there and it's next door to the Ritz- Carlton. Not too shabby. 

Oh but it was. It was a Love Motel. A motel in Korea for the most part is where people go to have sex because most couples live with their parents until marriage. I find this fact out when I arrive. At this point I decide Why not? It's only a night and I will sleep on my coat. I get to my room and see that it's shockingly clean. I have expected the bed to vibrate or something but was very glad to find out that it was a nice room with duvets and cleans sheets. Regardless, I slept on my coat. Poor coat.

The next day we went to a bona fide American diner. We waited forever but had the best food that I've had since I got here. Eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and glorious pancakes. The joy could not be measured. We shopped around in Itaewon and spoke to other Americans. It was Super Fantastic. Little America is by far my favorite part of Korea. It was like being home but if home was in the mountains with Koreans trying to sell you stuff. Kind like China in NYC plus add mountains and subtract graffitti as well as litter. 

There was a Smoothie King at the bus terminal and I bought a Caribbean Way. It was glorious. The whole weekend surpassed my expectations. I was on cloud 9 until I arrived at my front door and it all went straight to Hell.

I plan on returning with my new friends to Seoul in a month. We are gonna get our hair done and do the whole sightseeing/shopping thing again. Ay, la felicidad! (Oh the happiness!).

Little America

So I have been here 2 months now and I haven't left the city yet. I have been feeling a bit cooped up so I believe it's time I left for a day or two. I debated between heading to Seoul (North) or Busan (South/coast). What made me decide? The second that I looked in the mirror and realized that my hair looks absolutely atrocious. It's beyond bad. My mission tomorrow is to take a bus from Gwangju to Seoul. Once I arrive I plan on trying to figure out the Korean subway system and finding the Itaewon section of Seoul. It's mostly Americans there so it's like a Little America. It also happens to be next to the US Army base so there are many salons that specialize in wash and sets to relaxers. When I read about these salons online I was overjoyed!

Most people would head for the sights and then worry about their hair later. I, being a bit high maintenance, plan on heading straight to get the hair taken care of and then I might go sightseeing. I read that there is a market called Myeongdong Market that is very much like a Medina. I've been in a Medina and can say from experience that they are not pleasant. Anyway- they say this place is where retailers come to buy their stuff for resale and prices are roughly 90% off. We shall see if that is true. Hmm...

I tried booking a hotel but sadly my Korean credit card refused to work in an American website. This blows... a lot. This means that I will stay only 1 full day unless I find a cheap place when I get there. We shall see. I better get to bed since I plan on catching the 5AM bus. HAHAHA! I forget- I'm Latina and almost always tardy so uh lets just say that I will get there sometime in the day. Adios for now!

This Weekend

First of all-sorry it took me so long to write this blog. I've been working non-stop until very late so I don't get home until 11 or 11:30PM. You see, I have been assigned Harry Potter girl. Yes, she used to be Erin's student but now Erin has moved to the new school. HPGirl lives in Busan (a city several hours away) and comes to Gwangju to study at Ruby's school. Her mother is convinced that Ruby is amazing and that her daughter is the next Einstein. News Flash Woman: She is NOT. The girl is an only child so she gets whatever she wants. I could never tolerate her but since she was Erin's student I really didn't care. HPGirl was brought back to Gwangju last week so that she can take two weeks of courses at the school. With me.

On Tuesday they told me that I had to teach this girl... 2.5 hours per day. Her first hour and a half lesson is at 2:30 and goes on till 4PM. Her second lesson starts at 8:30-9:30PM. I also have to make 60-80 questions from two different books for her to answer every single night. She tries to correct my English whenever I speak to her. She follows me into the office where I have to start typing her questions before my other students come in for their lessons. She proceeds to ask me questions and to tell me random bits of trivia. I cannot get any work done because I have to act as if I'm delighted by how much money her family makes or why she is better than most people.  The first time you hear this you shrug, the second time you hear it you sigh and by the third time you grit your teeth. She constantly gets up in class and interrupts the lesson. The only reason I don't yell at her is because this girl is the school's cash cow. Her mother pays for very expensive one on one lessons every day. Apparently the reason that I wasn't given many student's while everyone else was getting swamped with work was so that I would be available when the girl arrived at the school again. Apparently her mother was paying for courses for the three weeks that HPGirl wasn't here. Ruby told her she needed to pay to keep her "slot" open. 

The girl very desperately wants attention and a friend. She invites me to her house every day and shopping on the weekends. I sorta feel sorry for her because I know that she is very lonely but at the same time she is exasperating. This is my last week with her so she should be going back to Busan to start middle school in March.

I just found out tonight that my favorite student overheard a conversation between the mother and Ruby. Apparently HPGirl's mother wants her daughter to take classes on Saturdays for five hours. When my student (who is about to leave b/c she starts high school in March) heard this she said that she wanted lessons too. Guess who they want lessons from? Yeah, me. Ruby apparently explained that the school was closed on the weekends but the mother was adamant about her daughter taking classes. IF they think I will work weekends then they better think of something else. My contract states that we work Monday through Friday. I hate working there so the thought of going back on a Saturday nauseates me.

The boys came over on Friday night to help Erin fix her new/broken bed. We ate pizzas and talked about our craptastic jobs. We had a dandy time.

On Saturday, Christina joined us at the Indian place. I had marvelous butter chicken with Garlic Naan. It was heavenly. The boys then headed shopping and Erin and I went off in search of the elusive bow earrings that I've wanted since I got here. We then met a guy named Leo. Yeah, sounds hot but I assure you that he was not. He asked Erin if he could follow us around so that he could practice his English with native speakers. Sure why not? he followed us like a puppy. He was obviously interested in Erin so I marched ahead and browed the stalls looking for those earrings. He eventually left so Erin and I headed to Speakeasy where we were supposed to meet the boys (they never showed up).  Erin and I found that she and I hadn't bonded in a long while so we caught up on everything and had a lovely time.

In other news- I colored my hair (all by myself) black. Miraculously I didn't get any color in my eyes!!! Now if only I could style it then I'll be great. Also, the weather in South Korea has warmed up. A lot. It's been in the 60's for the last couple of days. I can't wait for Summer to be here. yes, I've heard its a Hellbroth of heat and humidity that makes people pass out but who cares? I will feel like I'm right back in the islands. I might even wear a cardigan.

Hasta la vista!

If Hell has ten circles then I was in one of them.

So, uh... there really aren't any words that I can use right now to describe the traumatizing events that happened today. I will try but my brain is trying to protect me by getting me to forget what happened. I won't let it! I must tell you what happened on February 15th, 2010.

The following events are true.  I will try to tell you what happened so that future generations will know not to make the same mistake. 

We woke up early because we were supposed to meet Christina at Shinsegae department store so that she could take us to lunch at her house. When we arrived at Shinsagae, we noticed that the store was closed due to the holiday. Since we were early, Erin and I headed over to the E-Mart to pick up some last minute things for the boxes I am sending home. When we returned we found Christina waiting for us and we drove over to her place. 

We arrived at Christina's house only to find that instead of the modest meal that we were lead to believe we were going to be served, we had a whole banquet set before us. It was amazing. There were good things and non-edibles but it's the thought that matters. We then had to do a ceremonial bow for Christina's mother due to the New Year. Afterwards she presented us with "Luck Money". I thought it was going to be play money or maybe a buck or two. Instead we were presented with a crisp bill in a tiger printed envelope (worth about 10 bucks). After more bowing and thanking we hung out at Christina's place for a while before we headed out to the spa. 

After some driving around we finally get to the spa place. I was shocked to find so many people there. They were men, women, and children waiting to get in. The stares started the second we walked in the building. I thought I could handle the staring but I found that I was seriously uncomfortable because these were many people in one space. Come to find out that THAT was just the tip of the iceberg. We were given a ticket with our locker numbers and as we walk in we notice dozens upon dozens of naked women in various yoga poses, walking around, drying off, doing their hair, etc... They stopped doing whatever they were doing to stare or tap their neighbors and point at us. This was the first time in my life I had seen so many naked people in one place. Come to find out THAT was another tip of a monstrous iceberg. 

We get to our lockers trying to avoid the other naked bodies (BTW- these women had no issues about letting it all out). This was the moment that Erin and I knew that our friendship was gonna move to a whole other level. I was too nervous to change out in the locker area, so Christina took us to the bathrooms so that we could change there. I realized I was gonna have to get REALLY naked. Sadly, I couldn't leave the undies on. I removed everything and wore my robe only to find that EVERYONE in the entire locker area was naked or in the process of undressing. We were being stared at  not only because I colored and had strange hair but I was one of three people in the entire place wearing a robe.

Christina at this point says- "ready to go in?". I ask her where and she replies "Into the spa of course! You are so funny Jennifer". I then say "really? because I feel nauseous and I think I'm having heart palpitations". She laughs and then walks us through the doors to the tenth circle of Hell. There were many many women (apparently- we picked the absolute worst day to go to the spa because everyone goes to the spa the day after the New Year. It's a lovely little tradition). Erin and I guesstimated that there were roughly 200 or so women and children there. There were 4 very large hot tubs and 3 ice cold pools with water jets. There were showers along the entire wall so people washed up before and after going in. Everything was covered in blue tile that was meant to be soothing to the senses but it definitely did not have that effect on me. 

At this point I ask myself what did I get myself into? I begin having a panic attack, my heart is racing, I am sweating, thinking of some way to wake up from this very real nightmare. I walk up to a shower stall only to look in the mirror and notice that people have literally stopped whatever they were doing to stare. I am beyond uncomfortable but I plow through it and take it off. My last line of defense- the robe is off. I sense the eyes on the back of my butt and just scrub up and wash up. At this point I am literally dying, begging for something/anything to just get me out of here. Christina then marches us over to the hottest of the hot tubs where we get in. This time our robes have come off and we are just wearing our towels. Let me remind you that there are NO privacy screens. It's all one big open space! I feel nauseous and really anxious. my hands are sweating, and I'm starting to get dizzy. I am mentally yelling at my stupidity. Why in the Hell am I in this country?! Why didn't I figure out that the so called spa here was most definitely not what a spa is back home. As I walked over to a hot tub I was fervently hoping that this was ALL just one horrible nightmare and maybe I'd wake up any second. Alas, it was not.

As we sat in the hot tub with our towels wrapped around our bodies, we tried to not look around because there are literally butts and Hoohas EVERYWHERE! We were then joined by three or four preteens. They stared- until Erin broke the ice and said "Hi". One of the girl's replied with a "Hello" right back. At this point Christina says "Don't just don't (speak to them)". I asked "Why?". She says "Because if you talk to them in English then many more  kids will come and try to talk".  At this point Christina tells us that we have to get into the ice cold pool. It was icy cold so that it could cool the body down and tighten the skin. I stated that my skin was tight enough thank you very much. She cracked up and said "Get in!!!". I got in and it felt as though I jumped right into the Arctic Ocean. I thought to myself that I may just die of hypothermia. Eventually I start  to relax a little. Let's face it: I am butt naked with hundreds of other women in a cold pool so why not make the best of it. What I mean is that I swam like a fish, I did the doggy paddle, the back stroke, and the butterfly. I felt a bit like  Michael Phelps if he were a Latina woman in a Korean bath house and was butt naked. 

We eventually exited the pools and the saunas to bathe again in the showers. Sigh, we then marched to the locker room where we changed into our pink outfits so that we could go eat dinner in the Co-Ed section of the spa. Men, women, and children were lying on the floor on mats eating, resting, watching the big TV. We ate some Twedgie Cogie (pig) and headed to the stone yurt-like things where we sweat off a good 15 pounds. 

When we exited the place it was already 9PM. I was visibly shaken from the entire ordeal and wished to crawl into bed and rock back and forth for a bit. Before Christina dropped us off at the bus station she said "Hey! Let's do this again OK?". I replied "Eh, yeah sure thing". She drove off and I turned to Erin and said "Hell No". 

That was my Korean New Year adventure. What I know is that I have seen more Mrs. Snodgrass' than a gynecologist. I really do not plan to EVER do that again. 

Hasta luego!

"No, they are not piranhas"

So this is the start of our three day holiday weekend. Sunday the 14th of February is known as Korean New Year here in K-Town. It is also known as Chinese New Year in China and abroad (I think just because there are more Chinese than anywhere else). FYI- Don't call the new year- Chinese New Year (I made that mistake- several times) because apparently people in K-Town hate the Chinese and they also seem to have some sort of superiority complex. If all else fails just call it Lunar New Year and your are set. 

Back to our Saturday. Erin came home after quite the adventure on the bus. Let's just say this: She fell asleep on the bus (I was home-sleeping), Woke up to the driver yelling at her at which time she noticed that the bus was parked in some sort of bus parking lot in the mountains. Far from any signs of modern civilization. She noticed that she was in the mountains somewhere and there was a lot of snow and a lot of hikers. She panicked and went off to find a bus stop where she could catch our trusted #50 bus home. Her version of this story, I am sure is far more amusing, especially since it happened to her. All I know is that she bangs open my door at noon (I was sleeping- remember?) to tell me her wild adventure. Enlightening, but for future reference: Don't wake me when I'm sleeping. I'm like a grizzly after it's been hibernating. I am an unhappy individual in the morning.

Moving on! That afternoon, at two to be exact, we had appointments for manicures and pedicures at the spa. We arrived at The Foot Shop and received a very warm welcome. The ladies handed us slippers so that we could remove our shoes. We were then given keys for our lockers. I panicked for a minute because I thought that I would have to remove my clothes. Side Note: Do you recall when I stated that most traditional spas require people to be butt naked? Well I remembered, quite well in fact. That's why the moment we were led to the locker area- I started having heart palpitations. Our fears were for nothing because we were asked to change into some mustard brown "shorts" that came to my knees. They were ugly as hell but I thought OK why not? So, we exit the locker room and are told to sit on cushions that were on a raised wood paneled platform. We put our feet inside what looked like sinks that were in the floor. They were filled with some sort of hot yellow liquid.  I thought to myself that if urine is part of this spa thing then I am so out. I figured out that it wasn't so I relaxed. As we were sitting in our non-pee water thrones, we were stared at by the employees. They would turn at us giggle and mutter something to the others. I would've been pissed because this is what happens in the States at the nail places (minus the giggles and add hostile rapid Korean/Chinese/etc) but I've become accustomed to it. Erin and I are the entertainment everywhere we go. 

So our nail ladies get us and they lead us to the fish tank. it looked like a large sink that was in the ground. As soon as the fish saw us they went frantic! They were hopping out of the water swimming close to the surface. I put me feet near the edge of the water and all hell broke loose. I had a mental flash of the scene in that piranha movie where the fish go ballistic and start jumping out of the water. Erin then said "you go first". I then told her "uh, no You go first". She then sighed and stuck her feet in. All the fish rushed to her and started picking at her feet frantically, desperately as if they hadn't been fed in weeks. Erin's eyes are popping as she says "Oh My God!".  I then put my feet in and yelp because I'm shocked by the feeling of many fish just picking at me. They were all over the place! Trying to squeeze between the toes, at the heels, on my legs. My first instinct was to get out but I didn't. I sat through it. I am not going to say that it was a pleasant experience but it wasn't painful either. It was just another layer of weird that I have learned to accept in Korea.

The ladies then led us to get our nails done. People who came in to make appointments or get stuff done just stared. I am very proud to say that I have grown accustomed to this. Now, I just look over, stare right back and shrug (the French shrug that I love). I am proud to say that Erin had her first manicure and pedicure ever! She was whining throughout both the mani and pedi because she thought it would be weird having someone rub her feet. She sat through it like a big girl and came out with super cute toes (I am secretly jealous). She had frogs painted on her toes. They couldn't be cuter! I have jet black nails (I feel like my old me again!) and hot pink on my toes. Who cares! I wear socks all day anyway.  

Do you want to know what the best part of Korea is? The absolutely no tipping policy they have. I tried to tip but they shook their heads rapidly saying "no!, no!". It felt weird- the whole not tipping thing but it's another thing that I have now grown accustomed to. 

Erin and I make our way over to Lotteria (the Korean McDonald's) where I get my tenders and she tries to be adventurous and order the chicken sandwich (since when is a chicken sandwich adventurous? since it comes with the following: chicken, lettuce, mayo, mustard, and last but certainly not least- teriyaki sauce). The colors and the smells on that sandwich are stomach turning. I tell Erin "Uh, that's not right dude" she takes a bite, chews, swallows and then says "No, no it's not". From Lotteria we make our way around Lotte (it's like a super Wal-mart with groceries, clothes,  household stuff) where I buy stuff for the packages that I am sending home. 

That's it for now, Tomorrow- Sunday 14th is New Years but it's also V-day so everything is closed. Erin and I will be heading with Christina to the scary spa. The one where nudity is the norm and "sigh"- I am sure will be an adventure all by itself. After the spa, we have been invited to dine with Christina's family. Her entire family. Great! More staring- except this time I have to eat what is offered to me... in front of everyone. Can I remind everyone that I don't eat seafood or unidentifiable foods? "Sigh".  OK, heading to bed so adios for now.

Superbowl Monday!

I woke up on Monday morning with the sinking feeling that Saints were gonna lose. I even told my boyfriend D on  Monday morning "I'm sorry, I like the Saints but I really don't think they are good enough to beat the Colts". He calmly stated "I think you are wrong. They will beat the Colts". I then replied (I am uber pessimistic by the way) "I wish they would but it's just not possible". At this point he just sighs and moves on with the conversation. Now that I think about it he does that whenever he wants to plow through my pessimism. I never noticed it before. Wow, he's good. 

As I was getting for work, I was watching the stats on NFL.com which is the best website ever!!! Anyway, I was jealous of every single person that was watching this game live at home with wings, pizza, etc. Those of you that could watch it but didn't don't know how good you have it. At the end of the fourth quarter I was ecstatic jumping up and down as I tried to put on my contacts, jewelry, and makeup. I then called my parents who had been watching the game. All they said was "It was such a great game, ohmygosh!!!".

When I got to work, Miami didn't want to know who won because he was planning on seeing the game that night at a Superbowl party. California doesn't care for football, the uber pacifist only watches the UFC which is some sort of wrestling. NewGuy was not into football either so he was out. Erin was tired and decided to go home. That left Miami and myself. 

At 9PM on the dot, Miami tells me we have to go. We make our way to the Speakeasy where the second we walk in all eyes are on us. I notice I was 1 of 3 girls at that place. Not that I cared but it was a little weird. Either ways all of us are bonding (or brooding depending on your team) as the Saints keep scoring. Then 2 Korean girls arrive. They sashay their way up towards the front where they seem to know one of the guys at a table. The guy notices that we are shooting him dirty looks. He then walks towards the back behind me and tries to flirt as well as explain why a bunch of men where gathered here enraptured by what was going on in the screen. He was sorta loud and distracting a few of us in the back. I kept shooting the dirtiest looks I could muster because he should take that outside. You don't flirt and chat during the Superbowl- everybody knows that. He finally go the hint and brought the girls to the table where his other buddies where. There they remained and the girls were dutifully ignored by the guys until the end of the game. FYI-The only reason I noticed them was because they were right in front of the big screen. 

After the game, they decided to show the best commercials and I must say the Doritos as well as the Betty White were the best of all. 

Miami and I decided that we were starving so we headed to Lotteria which is a Korean version of McDo. They have weird combos like a ground shrimp burger with an avocado cream sauce. I played it safe with chicken tenders which are roughly the same all over the world. We then bonded over football and french fries (which really sucked- the fries I mean).

That night I get home and unintentionally wake Erin up. She proceeds to talk to Christina on Skype. Christina is shocked that I took a cab by myself because "Gwangju is getting more dangerous". "how so?" we asked because we didn't really understand if she meant that the cabbies were dangerous or the streets. It was one of those lost in translation things.  She is gonna find us pepper spray though.

"maybe 'ghtyugg inh englANd' is Romanian"

OK OK I get it. I know I haven't blogged in a few days but I've been a bit busy/sick/exhausted. What has happened in the past few days? Um...let me think. OK I got it.

On Friday

Every Friday Erin and I want to go to the street market in front of our school. Sadly we never have time to go because we arrive at the school minutes before we have to be there. This time we arrived early and perused the goods and handled the merchandise. People were selling everything from clothes, bed linens, dried fish, spices, purses, etc. Erin and I were down to our last few bucks when she notices purses. I was shocked that Erin stopped at all because she doesn't enjoy shopping whatsoever. She noticed a purse that looked like it was made from a newspaper. It was very cool and I was surprised that she picked it out. When we looked at it we noticed that the words on the newspaper didn't make any sense whatsoever. I originally thought it was Romanian or old English but upon closer inspection we noticed it was gibberish. I gotta say it was quite amusing. We then checked out the clothes at another stall where I noticed a long-sleeved grey shirt with Marilyn Monroe printed on it. They only had it in one size and after some pondering (it took me exactly 5 seconds) I decided to buy it. I figured I was getting paid so why not? Also it was only about five bucks.

Erin and I had to go open bank accounts so that we could get paid. A small Korean guard at the bank asked us what we needed then proceeded to give us forms...in KOREAN of course. She was quite rude but we filled out all the papers anyway. We then had to wait for a bank rep to create our accounts. My lady took exactly 40 minutes making the account. She spoke zero English so she just said quite softly "pin number" when she wanted me to punch my pin number in the little machine. She asked me to do this 12 times. I was getting pretty annoyed because I thought to myself "what could possibly take so long?". Erin then gets called up by the other bank lady. This woman decides to handle 2 customers at once. She takes Erin's papers and gives her a bank card in a matter of minutes. Meanwhile I am still sitting in front of the slowest teller on Earth. To be fair though she read through my documents and the computer's info roughly 3 times. When she finally finished she handed me a lovely bank card and a booklet with all the information that foreigners need to know...if you live in Seoul. Which we obviously don't. As Erin and I exited the bank we compared our brand new super cool bank cards and we noticed a few key differences. My card has my last name then my first. Erin's does not, in fact her names are mushed together. My name is highlighted in chi-chi gold foil. Erin's name isn't highlighted at all. In fact you can barely read her name because the letters mesh with the card. I guess my slow lady took forever but she did it right. 

That evening I was made to switch classes with Miami. We are doing the same class but Ruby separated the class between the "smart" kids and the "slow" kids. I was originally given the "slow" group. These kids were just very very shy and didn't like raising their hands. Eventually they came out of their shells and they would yell out answers. Our 1 hour class would just whiz by. Apparently the kids in my class would talk about it to  Miami's class  (both classes would gather for one giant class taught by Ruby at the end of the night). Ruby then said to me "I want you and Miami to switch because the other kid's want you". When I was given the new class I decided that I automatically disliked these kids. The reason that they are considered "smart" is because they are more vocal. They also believe that homework is sort of not necessary. They are little punks who really think they are God's gift to humanity. I want to backhand each and every one. But I won't because that is what their teacher's at the public schools do.

On Saturday

I had a full blown cold. I lay in bed feeling like death. Erin was out so I had the place to myself. That evening I went to the supermarket because we literally had 3 eggs and half a bottle of water in the refrigerator. FYI- Korean beef is obscenely expensive. I paid about six dollars for a quarter pound of beef. I bought enough food to last about two weeks. Then I slept for the rest of the night.

On Sunday

Erin went to see a UFC match at California's place. I was invited to come but I refused because 1. I was deathly ill and 2. Narky lived there. Something you may not know about me is that when I get sick I get very upset/mean. I was afraid that I would have punched Narky. Right in the face. It's so horribly tempting at times and let me remind you that I am not a violent person. 

Around noon, I started to feel a little better. That's when Christina our Korean friend Skyped me and asked me what I was doing. I told her nothing just resting when she suggested we head out shopping. Now, I would have said no under normal circumstances but the opportunity seemed too good to pass up. How many times do you get to meet and become friends with one of the natives? I met Christina at the Starbucks by the Shinsegae department store. I was treated completely differently at the MAC counter with Christina there. The snobs there even gave me a frequent shopper pass. Christina then showed me something that caused my heart to palpitate and my eyes to tear. A GAP. Ladies and gentlemen a bona fide gap in the Middle of Nowhere, Korea. I ran to the shirts and touched to my heart's content the corduroy pants and the khaki chinos, the striped button ups, and the jeans! Oh my- THE JEANS! I went over and rubbed my hand over them and that's when I noticed something peculiar. The sizes at Korean GAP only go up to an 8. Also the prices are exactly double the US prices. A pair of jeans were roughly $125. I gasped in horror but then remembered where I was and shrugged (it's an annoying little habit I picked up from the French).

After Shinsegae, Christina took me to Lotte where Erin and the guys met us. We saw that they had a nail place with a tank full of little fish that eat the dead skin off your feet. Erin immediately said "I wanna do that!". We decided that we were gonna meet up there this weekend to get mani's and pedi's. Apparently spa stuff is pretty cheap here so Erin and I plan to do this every month. Christina informed us that the regular spas where you get massages and facials etc. are open 24 hours. Christina then informed us that they are co-ed and they are fully naked affairs. They don't even provide robes at these places. Everyone sashays their way from the pools to the saunas completely and utterly naked. Erin and I just stared at each other. I thought to myself that I already get stared at for being different and I have my clothes ON. Imagine if they were off. Oh the mortification. There isn't enough dirt or Earth for me to bury myself. Christina then told us it's OK to wear a robe (even though nobody else does). That's... doable. Still makes me cringe but doable. Apparently we are going to the spa on Monday and I feel that I will come out of there more tense than when I went in. Just wait for THAT blog. I'm positive it'll be full of interesting anecdotes. Adios for now!

Kids say the darndest things

So today Erin's giant 8 drawer chest arrived. I am super excited for her but I couldn't help but wonder how is she going to live? The girl lives in a tiny room with barely enough space for her second hand twin bed. All of a sudden this behemoth appears. Eight drawers long. That's right! It's not one of those tall dressers, oh no, it's one of those long elephant sized things that take up half her space. At least she has room for all her stuff but she also plans on keeping her three suitcases in there. Not that there is anywhere for them to go since we don't have any closets in the apartment. I asked her about the suitcase situation and she said that she is just gonna stack them then throw a sheet over them to cover them up. I thought this was a fine idea until we looked at the stacked suitcases and noticed that they towered over everything else in the room. Now she has enough room left for her to stand and clothe herself. I, on the other hand, have a massive room with a tiny three drawer chest. Not that I'm complaining or anything I just find it hysterically funny. 

The Elementary schools opened Monday which means that all the young kids that took classes in the afternoons now have either cancelled, shortened, or moved them to later in the day. My favorite student Petey now only has classes with me Tuesdays and Thursdays. He almost always brings me a treat and today was no exception he brought me a chocolate bar. He is the reason I love teaching these kids. He truly appreciates learning and is very eager to learn anything that he can. In fact his friend The One (Erin's favorite student) and Petey debate over

 who has the best teacher. They discuss it all the time apparently. Erin and I are trying to avoid any competition but I think that CoughICoughAmCough. 

Oh, Erin had an interesting conversation several weeks ago with her least favorite student which shall be named Lucifer #2. Here's how it went:

Lucifer#2:"Who is your best friend?"

Erin: "Jennifer"

Lucifer #2: "Do you love each other?"

Erin: "What do you mean? We are best friends"

Erin then changed the topic and moved on with the lesson.

Erin then told me yesterday that they had another conversation and it went like this:

Lucifer #2: "Are you and Jennifer...."

Erin: "Are we what Lucifer #2?"

Lucifer #2: "Are you lesssssbbbiiii(whispered)ians?"

Erin: "Are you allowed to say that in class?"

Lucifer #2: "Don't be mad!!!"

Pause in the conversation...

Lucifer #2: "Well, are you?"

Erin: "No we are not"

Lucifer #2: "Oh cuz I just wanted to know. Do you guys have boyfriends?"

Erin: "I don't but Jennifer does"

Lucifer #2: "Oh"

The reason that I am mentioning this is because 1. this was really funny when I heard it and 2. this is not the first time we have been asked about our sexual orientation.

Several weeks ago, our landlord, his wife and baby, along with the maintenance man came to fix a exhaust pipe in our apartment. He tried making conversation with us but his English was rather limited. The most memorable conversation went something like this:

Landlord: "Are you two (he mumbled something along the lines of: amrined)?"

Me: "Uh, yes! yes, we both are!" (I pointed at Erin and myself as I said this.)

Landlord: "Huh?!" (very upset/worried stare/talks Korean rapidly to wife)

Me: "Wait, uh did you say 'American'?"

Landlord: "No, married?"

Me: "Oh my God, No- no we are not we are best friends. I thought you said 'American' sorry. No we are NOT married and especially not to each other..."

The landlord looked as if we saved him from a stroke. He really was so relieved that we weren't lesbians. After the shock wore off we all cracked up and had a dandy time. Until Narky showed up to pick us up. 

Oh, the cultural/linguistic misunderstandings are classic.

Gotta go, there is more to come in the near future. Adios!

Happy Monday!

Today was B Day. No, not birthday but Bed Day! Erin and I were told by Ruby that it was all Narky's fault. The reason that Erin's bed never arrived was because Narky never checked up on the delivery company or anything. Apparently the ladies were very upset with their brother and he had gotten a thorough tongue lashing. At the end of the day Ruby and The Grunter stated that 1. They had my 2 boxes that my parent's had sent me along with 2. Ruby's son (Mini-Kim's) ex-bed which is now being passed down to Erin. I ran to Erin and told her this because I had an inkling that she had not been told what was going on. She gave me the I'm-so-mad-I-can-barely-move-my-face look. I thought this was ridiculously funny and had I been in her position I would have gone to the bathroom to have a good cry. I tried cheering her up by telling her that at least she doesn't have to sleep on my bed anymore and she will get to sleep in her bat cave. She was not cheered in the slightest. Tonight we had to wait till 10:30 to leave the school. The Grunter had the mattress in the back of the van and it stuck out past the seats so my face was pressed against the window during the ride to our place (in the south of the city). Finally we get it home where Ruby decides to walk into my room to look around. She and The Grunter made little comments about my bedroom and Erin's room as well. They then helped themselves to little floor stickies we had gotten to avoid slipping on the bathroom floor. to be honest the 1st package we bought didn't really stick but I was under the assumption that we were gonna return the 2nd package. Well, Ruby was like "The Grunters son would just LOVE these". "We are gonna take these for him OK?". What she really meant was "I am taking these whether you want me to or not". 

I am heading off to sleep since it is now 1AM. Buenas Noches!