Deja Vu

So yeah it's been a few months since I wrote my last blog- sorry about that. Today my boyfriend D took my to Lotte Mart here in Maryland. I wasn't aware that there was one until a friend heard me complaining about needing a new scrubby cloth for the shower (It's like a mix between sand paper and a loofah in a cloth) on Facebook. You see Koreans use body scrubbing cloths that pretty much scrubs off the first layer of skin. Yeah, it hurts... a lot. But in the end you get beautiful, supple, and glowing skin.

Side note: My grandmother threw away this precious cloth when she came to visit. I was horrified because I couldn't buy it anywhere.

So the second that we pulled up into the Lotte Plaza I knew that I was in for a treat. I was hopping up and down in my seat like a kid going to Disney Land. As I walked into the Lotte Super I was instantly thrown right back to Gwangju. My sense of smell was overpowered by the smell of Kimchi and Asian pears. I was right back shopping for groceries at night after school. It was like I never left and I half expected to see Erin walking between the aisles looking for eggs.

The first words out of my mouth as I entered the store were "It smells just like Korea!". Then I quickly walked past the clementines where I yelled out "God! I had to eat a ton of those cause they were uber cheap". Eventually I made my way to the sauces where I was looking for the galbi sauce since I've been in the mood for some Korean BBQ lately. That's when I happened to look at the Kimchi and sauces and blurted out very loudly "God! These were so disgusting!". That's when D finally blurted out "Babe! You're being really loud and it's disrespectful".

That right there brought me back to reality. I realized with a bit of sadness that I wasn't there a few streets from our old apartment and I wasn't gonna be able to chat with Erin about our psycho bosses later that night. I was also horribly embarrassed because I had been acting just like I had been in K-Town. I blurted things out believing that nobody understood what I was saying.

As I walked around the store I ran from the fish counter (not as impressive as in Korea since the fish were already dead) to the rice blob case. I felt like something was off the entire time then I realized what it was: the people yelling out stuff on the microphones and the giant tanks full of octopi (octopus?) were M.I.A. Also, for a change, I wasn't being stared at anymore. I realized that I missed being a celebrity and having people point and stare at me.

My poor boyfriend was dragged around the store feigning enthusiasm for my sake. I know that he never really cared about the rice blobs or the chop sticks. But I know that he was happy that I was as excited about all the things that I was seeing.

As I was checking out my purchases (scrubby cloths and chop sticks) I Anyun hi keseyo'd and kamsa hamnida'd everyone that looked Asian. They all somehow found what I was saying quite amusing. Maybe I was saying it wrong or maybe they weren't expecting a Latina woman to speak Korean. Either ways, I am extremely happy that I went and had that experience which made me look forward to my bestie's homecoming in January even more.

Yes Erin, I can't wait for you to come home so that we can make our video predictions for the new year. I've missed you hard core bud.

The Arrival

WOW! I has been quite some time since my last blog entry. If I recall, I stopped right after arriving in Hawaii. In short- I arrived in the US that Friday in April at precisely noon. When Ali and I arrived in the airport, I was not surprised in the least to be told by the airline people that my luggage was lost. Yes folks, lost. We were then informed that the bags were shipped directly to Atlanta instead of the flight that we took to Minesota. Either ways after hanging out for several hours around the airport (because I refused to leave without my bags) I finally arrived at my mother's shop to greet her. Remember folks: I had just been sick for almost 3 weeks straight, lost about 10 pounds during that time, and had HUGE purple undereye circles. The point is that I did NOT look good or at the very least decent.

When my mother saw me for the first time she and I both burst out crying. She had been so stressed over everything that she was finally relieved to have Ali and I home. That was a very very long day though. I was very tired and still sickly. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into a warm bed in a dark room and sleep for several days but I also wanted to be with my mother. So Ali and I chose to stay with mom that day. Of course we slept for almost two days after that.

Buffets

Wednesday morning Ali and I woke up early to try to get to the Pearl Harbor memorial. We promptly got ready and went to the breakfast buffet before heading out (as suggested by my mom who told us to go to the buffet about 7 times though phone as well as text messages). When we got there I thought to myself: Now THIS is what a buffet should be.

You see in Korea our friend Christina took us to several buffets including one where the server would bring a dish out and then ring a bell. I swear that as soon as that bell would ring people would literally throw down their forks and run to the buffet counter to get what was brought out. It was sorta funny- you would hear everyone's forks drop in unison and make a mad run for it like there were free diamonds for the taking if you got up there in time. Then you'd see people pushing and shoving each other to get pizza or some Alfredo pasta. Ali and Christina were the most successful people in the place. It was as though Christina knew when that bell would be rung (it also helped that we were seated by the kitchen). Christina may be small but jeez! The girl can run fast. She has no problem being aggressive in the food counter area. It also helped to have Ali tower over everyone. He has long legs so he was able to dash and be the first in the line many times. It was comical how he stood over the others and people would have to look around his body to see what was available. It was like dinner and a movie all in one.

As Erin and I just watched this scene be repeated over and over I though in amusement of what it would be like if the US did the same thing. Think about it... There would at least be a mass murder being committed over a plate of fried chicken. A couple of stabbings over the mac and cheese. In the US the idea of a bowl of food for one restaurant is ludicrous. No serious buffet restaurant would even bother with the idea of a little of this and a dash of that. It goes against the idea of what a buffet is about: consumption of a large quantity and variety of food.

Back to the buffet at the hotel. It was a massive waste of money on us only because I could only eat a little bit and Ali ate only 4 tiny waffles. We were def. food coma'ing. The juice though is heaven sent. They had this passion fruit, orange, and guava juice that is the greatest concoction know to human kind. It was so good in fact that our server had to bring Ali a fish bowl sized glass because she had to keep refilling his other glass way too often.

So I am heading out to see the sights. Aloha!

How in the hell did I end up in Honolulu?

OK so in the following blogs I will talk about what happened when I left Korea. Before I do that I HAVE to tell you what is happening NOW.

So I am sitting typing this blog in a hotel on Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. Yes, THE Hawaii. Why would a girl who was supposed to fly from the Korea to Maryland be in Hawaii right now? The answer is simple- Our plane in Tokyo was overbooked. I wasn't too miffed. As the gate people called stanby passengers at the gate I thought to myself- Whatev. I've been really stressed, sad, weak/sick, and overwhelmed by my last month in Korea so a little travel snafu isn't that big of a deal. It's not like I'm running to catch a cruise ship or get to a wedding on time- you know?

So we were rebooked by an adorable little gate agent who bowed a lot and cracked up when I pulled out my googly eyed cow (more on that later) pen to sign some papers. I guess the cow brought us some good mojo cause he re booked us to Honolulu to catch a flight from there to Atlanta and from there to Baltimore. Let me tell you that I still am and was beyond exhausted. I was anxious and couldn't de-stress to save my life.

I didn't sleep on any of my flights but we finally taxied onto Honolulu International Airport. That's when I got the brilliant idea of exploring the island while we were here since our connecting flight wasn't until that afternoon. I was told by the airport people that everything was really close so we could def. explore. Then that afternoon idea turned into an overnight one which in turn turned into 2 days. I mean- essentially we are in Hawaii unexpectedly and why not take advantage of it. We are already here so let's see it all!

Fast forward to Ali (my quasi-cousin) and I getting into our room. We pass out 30 minutes later and wake up at 4PM. We promptly decided to get something to eat so we went to an open air market where I had the greatest grilled chicken kabobs ever! It felt like the greatest and most filling meal in the world only because I've had some pretty inedible food in K-Town. Ali and I went shopping on the streets for a bathing suit, towels and things that you need when you go to a tropical place. Seeing as how ALL of the clothes that I packed are for very cold weather.

So tomorrow Ali and I plan on seeing the Pearl Harbor memorial and we plan on going shark cage diving (which if anybody knows has always been one of my dreams). By the way- I am beyond confused by the time. I don't have ANY idea what time it is here, Korea, or Maryland. I am so messed up by also going through the 20th of April twice. I forgot that we crossed the Date Time line which threw me off... a lot! Also- hearing people speak English is mind blowing! I keep responding with Anyoung Hi Keseyo whenever I leave sales person. I keep reminding myself that I am in a bona fide US state. The problem here is that there are many many Asian tourists here so I keep thinking that I am back is Korea. Whatchagonnado?

Well Aloha for now or is it Ma halo? Whatever!

Side note for my former roommate and dearest friend- I miss you a lot and will call you once I get back home.

The Devil doesn't cry, her eyes were just sweating.

The day that I told Ruby that I was leaving was the day that I was at my sickest. You see on our way to school Ali had to pretty much half carry me up the street. I hadn't slept the entire night and I had this dizzy fog thing going. As we approached our street Grunter pulled up with Ruby in the passenger seat. If I have ever been given the death glare then this was it. The one that would have had me dead and buried. Grunter just squinted her evil eyes and twisted her mouth while Ruby gave me the motherly caring look (I was kinda thrown off b/c let's face it- El Diablo isn't really supposed to be able to do that). Then Ruby asked "What's wrong?" really lady?! WHAT'S WRONG?!!! What the H do you think is wrong? I've only been sick for...oh I don't know 3 weeks and I've gotten progressively worse and you don't care! That's whats flippin' wrong!!! As all this raced through my head I realized that I had to get a grip. So I told Ruby in the most stern voice that I could muster "We need to talk".

If there were any 4 scarier words in the English language than those then I don't know them. Ruby looked scared and gave me a half whispered "Oh, OK". She was scared merde-less. I finally had the upper hand. Ali then helped me walk to the class. Ruby retreated into her office.

I made my way to the teachers lounge where I gave away my stickers, marking pens, paper, notebooks, and most importantly- germ sanitizer gel. Then I summoned my courage and walked to her office. As I'm walking I am conjuring up images of being taken hostage/ prisoner, of being set-up so that I ended up in a Korean prison, etc. I mean these people have the way and the means to pull of something like that. Then I remembered- Hey! I have a Dominican mother who would beat the bloody pulp out of this woman and anyone else that would cross paths with her children. I mean my mother had my elementary,middle, and high school teachers scared stiff. Side note: Dominican women have slightly shorter fuses and have a tendency to be kinda scary if you mess with them.

Anyway I straightened up and opened her office door (without knocking) I told her that we needed to talk. She replied "do we have to do this now? Can it wait?". I said "No, It needs to be done right now". The color drained from her face when informed her that I was leaving and that I couldn't work in Korea anymore. My health was deteriorating, I was getting weaker, and that if I didn't come home very soon then my mother was gonna have to come and get me...and that she would be really pissed about having to do that. Ruby then tried to offer me 2 weeks rest and then I could return. When she said this all I thought was what part of -the Yellow Dust is making me ill- do you not get?

Finally I said "I am too sick and I gotta go home. I will be leaving now".

Suddenly, Satan started to cry. I sat there sorta trying to figure out why her eyes where watering up. Did she have something in her eyes? Maybe she was currently taking medication and this was one of its side effects? Maybe she had recently heard a very tragic story in the news and was NOW crying about it. There were many possibilities but I NEVER thought that she was crying about my leaving. Either ways- when it finally dawned on me that she was in fact crying, my eyes got a bit wider and I mouthed "Oh" (perplexed stare).

Suddenly she opens up her arms sorta like Moses did when parting the Red Sea and I didn't get it until seconds later that she wanted a hug. A HUG?! WTH! I forced my body to half hug/pat her on the back but I did it the same way that you would hug a feces-covered baby hippo. With disgust, some anger, and a minuscule bit of pity.

When I left her office I told Ali that we could leave and as we put on our shoes I looked back at my desk, my BFF, Tooly,and my classroom for one last time and walked out.

Called out yet again.

So I didn't go to work today. While some of the meds are working, I know that they give me horrible stomach pains. They make me nauseous and dizzy. My voice isn't entirely back to normal either. I am super ready to go back home. I miss clean air and Purell-ed hands. I miss people with manners and soap in the bathrooms along with paper towels. I miss people sneezing into tissues instead of one's face. I really really miss my family.

I will tell you this. I can't wait to see Ruby's face when I tell her that I am finished with her and this school. I am anticipating it.

Clinic round 2

Wednesday morning I was woken up by sharp ear and throat pains. They were so bad that I decided then and there to go back to the clinic. I knew that they really didn't speak English but I figured that they had my records so I wouldn't have to start from square one. It was sorta nice. Scary because Christina wasn't there but sorta nice because the I had the same doctor again. When he checked my throat he used a metal Popsicle stick. Much like their American wooden counterparts but these were made of metal. As the doc placed the metal stick in my mouth I wondered exactly how many people had the exact same stick in their mouth.

Then the doc pulled out a note pad and wrote acute pharyngitis. I thought to myself that I knew this had to be something bad since it hurt so badly. He printed my prescription and I went back out to pay my tab. it came to the shockingly low price of 8,500 Won. that's about 7 bucks.

When I went to the pharmacy I was told that I had to take 4 MORE pills 3 times a day. That comes to a total of 20 pills in one day! I returned home and that's when I decided to go to work. I was sleepy, dizzy, really tired, and the meds were giving me a stomach ache. I told Erin to tell Ruby that I would eventually be in even though I was very tired. I walked into work about 5 seconds after Ruby had arrived with Juvie. Apparently Erin had already told her what was going on with me. As soon as I arrived Ruby said "oh, you are still sick, it's OK you can go home if you want".

I swear you could have heard a pin drop. Erin's eyes got huge, Ali's mouth flopped open like a bass, I just stared her in the face. That's when I said "No, I can take it". If I was a naive girl I would have happily turned around but I know better than that. Lucifer doesn't do something out of the goodness of her "heart". She would have made me pay for going home. She is evil and would have probably told me to work on the weekend to make up for it. So I sucked it up and dragged throughout the day. BTW- my first student didn't come to the school because he was "very very sick". Oh really? I wonder why.

A-choo!

My asthma has been aggravated by the Yellow Dust as well as a mild cold due to being subjected to countless sneezes and coughs in my classes. Even Ruby who I swear summons me into her office just so that she can cough on my face. Whenever I step back she takes a step forward. She doesn't even have the decency of covering her mouth. Anyway- my mild cold turned into the flu. At the time I had no idea what was going on and assumed that I was just really stressed and tired. I realized that something was wrong when I had trouble getting out of bed and had ZERO energy.

Apparently my symptoms had gotten far worse so on Monday I asked Christina to take me to a doctor. We went to Shinsegae Medical Clinic. I swear that the moment that we stepped into the clinic I was transported into the Ritz or maybe the Four Seasons. It was beyond chi-chi. I'm talking crystal chandeliers, water fountains, and a lady cleaning the floors on her hands and knees. As we stepped up to the counter I mentally tallied how much I was going to have to pay. I was pretty sure that It was gonna involve several zeros at the end.

When Christina was checking me in, the women at the front desk asked her what my Korean name was because my current "American name" wasn't gonna work. While I stared at her like an imbecile repeating that phrase over and over in my head (I swear I didn't understand) Christina said "How about the Korean name that I made for you?". I said "that's perfect!". Then the counter ladies asked about my last name because it wasn't going to work either. Uh oh. I told Christina to give them her last name and that way we could sorta be related. She said uh...why don't we think of something as close to my real last name as possible. So ladies and gents I give you my full Korean name: Park Hee Sun. Park is my last name and Hee Sun is my first. I kinda like it.

After getting checked in, talking to the doc via Christina, getting chest X-Rays, and an lung test I was told that I had the always crowd pleasing bronchitis. The doctor then asked (semi-jokingly) if I perhaps lived in a cave. I gave a puzzled no. He said that everything has been aggravated by several things- 1. Yellow Dust and 2. Rapid temperature changes. I told him that I work in a building that is freezing so much that my fingernails turn blue(due to no heating) and when I walk to work it's usually in the 50's. So I'm going from mild to freezing in a matter of minutes. He said that's why everything got worse and why I've been having trouble breathing.

He prescribed 4 different medicines that I have to take twice a day. FYI- medicines here are not given in a bottle/tube. They are given in little sealed plastic bags that have the exact dosage. It's shockingly convenient!

Oh and the doc's visit cost me 35,500 Won. Which is about $30.00. Not too shabby!

Since I didn't go into work, Ruby's husband Mr. Samurai rang my doorbell incessantly at 5PM to "check on you because Ruby was worried". HA! Worried my arse! She was checking to see if #1 I was partying up with Ali and #2 to see if I was even there.

I really truly hate these people. Hasta luego!

Ali is here!

Ali (my quasi-cousin) arrived from the States on Thursday. He appeared at the school while I was in the middle of teaching a class. Our arrangement had been that I was going to pick him up at the bus station that night. He decided that instead of waiting around in the airport- he would just surprise me. well he def. did. I was insanely happy because he had made it here safe and sound.

Oddly enough Juvie (a new teacher from Jersey) arrived at the New School that day. He seemed like a nice guy but I couldn't pinpoint why I didn't trust him. Maybe i had to do with the questions that he was asking us. It seemed as if he was parroting Ruby. "So uh what do you think of this school?" and "So what do you think of your boss?". C'mon really Juvie?! Can't you be a teensy bit less obvious? Try to be a little sneakier perhaps. Oh! The best thing about him is that he is completely convinced that Ruby is the greatest human being on the planet. Her family is perfect and that "it's really great hanging out with them!". Oh tsk tsk. Poor, stupid, gullible boy. They are only acting this way for two reasons: 1. they want to suck you in so that you report back to them about us. and 2. Ali is here as well and they want you both to see that this is a super magnificent school and that if we have ever said anything bad about her or the school then we are obviously mistaken.

That day Juvie ended up passing out in Erin's class and Ali did the same thing in mine. The excitement, stress, and jet lag had caught up to both of them. Shockingly enough- Ruby allowed Juvie to sleep on a chair in the study room behind her office. It's almost scary how she is acting around him. Kind of like a mother shark who is slowly swimming around her offspring protecting them and slowly gaining their trust. Eventually when the offspring decides to do something that she doesn't like then SNAP! She has decided that she can't tolerate being phony anymore and he will be torn to pieces. Personally Erin and I can't wait for the day that happens.

By the way- I had been sick for almost 2 weeks at that point. It is all because people here never ever cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze so I was getting "sprayed" all the flippin' time. I mean this place is a flippin' cesspool of germs. Of course it doesn't help that the bathrooms don't have soap or paper towels. People do their business and go on their merry own way. It's beyond disgusting. I've taken to carrying around my bottle of hand sanitizer and box of tissues to my classes.

Goodbye, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu!

So our Miami has definitely been fired. We had a goodbye dinner for him on Tuesday night after work. I was going to skip out but Erin convinced me to go. Apparently the flu is not a good enough excuse to miss out on his farewell.

We went to eat some Sangupsal which is Korean BBQ. I always have thought eh, it's no big deal. This time though Boys Team took us to a place by their side of town. It was casual and they had wrestling on the big screen TV. I was just worried that I wouldn't be able to taste anything since being sick does that to me but let's face it- The food here sucks... a lot so would it have mattered?

This time we ordered marinated beef and strips of pork that resembled super thick pieces of bacon. All I was able to eat was the small bowl of rice and some pieces of meat. Everything else that they placed on our tables did not resemble anything remotely edible.

After the food we headed out to a tavern where everyone ordered beer. I (sadly) got myself Cider (a Sprite like soda) and wolfed down some Service (free) popcorn. While we were there we took pictures and talked about our time together.

Eventually I had to leave because I was still sick and my head was killing me. I hugged my friend for the last time and headed home. Where I proceeded to pop two NyQuils and pass out.

The next morning, I found out that everyone else had gone to karaoke. Apparently I had missed Miami's one and only solo rendition of "Hero" by Mariah Carrey. Luckily Erin taped it.

Head for the hills!!!

If you don't hear from Erin or myself in the next few days it's because we escaped in the middle of the night. Erin will be carrying her 2 normal sized suitcases and I will be carrying 2 massive dinosaurs along with several bags full of souvenirs, all our cups/chopsticks/pans/cutting board/monkey mat/Howard and anything else that we bought for the apartment. I will look like a bona fide refugee. Right now as I type this Erin and I want to make sure that we cook whatever we have left in our refrigerator and cupboard. Erin is eating the last bit of rice with sliced carrots. I ate for the millionth time spaghetti and sauce. I also have a few Moon pies as well as a bit of rice left. I guess we will have a smorgasbord the night before we leave so that we will have enough energy to run.

Erin and I eerily woke up in a cold sweat because we had the exact same dream. Lucifer and her minions showed up at the apartment during our weekend. They wanted us to do work during The Weekend. They would bang on our door and ring the doorbell while Erin and I cowered in the balcony of our apartment waiting for them to leave. Then (gasp!) we hear the door being unlocked with a spare key. At this point we wake up shaking and looking around to make sure that that scenario wasn't really happening. We wake up from one nightmare to discover that we live in another one. Sigh.

As of yet the whole running away scenario is a huge possibility. We are waiting it out because as of right now its in the back of our minds. Erin and I have reached a point where we can't deal with all this anymore. I feel as though I haven't exactly failed in Korea but maybe Korea has failed me. Satan, Hitler, and Narky (who isn't important enough to have an important bad guy name) are beyond describable. Their logic defies all reason. They are the stuff that came out of Pandora's Box when it was opened.

Side note: Somebody is cooking something rather smelly in one of the apartments around us. Since I am sitting by the window I can smell the odor wafting into our apartment. Erin just said "Do you smell garlic bread?" Me: "Nope, I smell something funky coming in through that window." Erin: "Noo... I smell garlic bread." (she sniffs the air as she says this) Me: "Nope, I guaran-..." Erin: "IT'S NOT GARLIC BREAD!!! What is it?!"

Me: "I told you".

We are gonna see how this all works out in the next week or so. I will keep you posted. Hasta luego!

See you later 'gator!

So Erin and I found out from Miami that he has been "unofficially fired". What does that mean? That he is fired but is not supposed to know anything about it yet. What did he do when he found out? He went to Busan to celebrate! Ok so he isn't exactly thrilled about this situation and not many people would be (except for me). So yeah- I hate the school and our psycho/ bipolar boss. She makes my job a living hell. Erin is considering going on strike. I would except that I have the flu right now so all I can do is stand for a few minutes at a time. But I would back her up in spirit!

Erin was getting sucked into their nice/kind little routine. I warned her as she was getting sucked in that these people were shockingly evil, manipulative, and scheming. Traits that are great on Survivor but not in an employer. She has now seen them for who they really are- Satan.

Hasta luego!

The Korean Flu

So, Thursday night rolled around and I noticed that I was extremely tired and my body hurt. I assumed this was due to the stress from my job. Boy was I wrong. The next morning (after not sleeping very well) I woke up and wondered why I was dizzy, freezing, and in pain. I figured this was some freaky cold so I popped two DayQuils and headed to school. On the way to school I got progressively worse. By the time I arrived at the school I thought I was going to faint so I sat at my desk and turned on the heater. I couldn't get my body warm enough and my head felt like it was going to explode.

Ruby sashayed her way into the school hours after we had gotten there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I felt very sick. She grunted (as usual) and said "oh, that's too bad. I was overcome with the feeling of punching her in the face. I supressed it (as always). I had such little energy that I had to teach from my desk. This meant no hand gestures or joking during class. My students were not thrilled to say the least but at least I managed not to pass out. At the end of my class which went on for two hours straight I was relieved to know that all I had to do now was post some questions for the homework online and then go home. At this point I was hanging on by a thread.

Ruby then comes into my empty classroom and says "Ooh Jennifer I know you are sick but can you teach one more class?". Let's see...Hmm...No I couldn't but we both knew that she wasn't asking me. She was telling me that I had another class. At this point I had already taught 5 hours straight with no break times. As soon as my student sat down Ruby tells me that I had to "entertain this student for 15 minutes because the other girl wasn't here yet". When I was told this I just took a deep breath and turned toward the board to write my name. As I was writing my name my eyes started to tear up and all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out. To be honest what I wanted was my mother to comfort me and pat my back, my dogs around me, and a big bowl of chicken noodle soup. Since I had none of the above I decided to get a grip and handle this class. The problem was that my body wasn't having that. I swear that I was dizzy and and in a ton of pain. Ruby then said if she wanted Erin to give half the class since I was so sick. I replied that I did. Erin came in and took care of the rest of the class (God bless her). I then had time to post questions for all my classes which meant that I was gonna get home before passing out.

I hate Ruby. Friday sucked. I am looking forward to recuperating after a horrible horrible day. Oh and by the way I have the flu.

Meet Howard

So we did it! We finally welcomed the newest member of the family. Meet Howard. He is a plant. He resembles a Hydrangea (google it). Yes, Hydrangeas are a fairly feminine looking plant but who cares? Ours (we suspect) will bloom in a few weeks. I believe he could hold his own in a plant show. He is sorta hardcore for a plant because he has spiky-ish leaves and a wood-y stem. I picked him out (of course) even though Erin wanted a Christmas cactus. How boring. Maybe we might get Howard a sibling in the future. As for now he is all we can handle.

We had planned on getting a Betta fish. You know the ones that sit in a cup of water and seem depressed all the time. That seemed like the perfect pet for me since he could live in a cup on the coffee/dining table for the rest of his life. Then I thought to myself that all of my fish have a high mortality rate. Sad but true. As a rule: If it doesn't have four legs then chances are it's gonna die. I was so excited too since I thought I was gonna have a bona fide pet in Korea. I had planned on talking to it and maybe petting the side of the plastic cup. Oh Petey (this was gonna be his name) if only...

Then again you would've lived for exactly a week and a half. But for that week we would've had some good times.

Hasta mañana!

This weekend: Korean dramas, Sola Seoul, and Alice

So Friday night Erin and I decided that we were gonna have another Girl's Night. This time just by ourselves and our super delicious pizza. Erin tried to convince me about how Korean dramas on TV are really great. I asked her if we could watch a movie while we ate but she tried to tell me that her favorite show was addicting. I sighed and agreed to watch it. It was called Girls Before Flowers or Boys And Flowers. Maybe it was Boys Behind Flowers. The point is that apparently this is a super popular show and I agreed to see what the big deal was. I can now understand the allure. You have super hot Korean guys + silly/cutesy Korean girls+ ridiculous out of this world plot= Great show. We watched for a few hours while chatting and eating really great pizza and some sweet/spicy chicken nibblets. Yeah so I ate the equivalent of 2000 calories but who cares? it was Girl's Night.

Saturday I took the bus to Seoul. It takes four hours to get there by bus and the bus itself is really luxurious compared to American standards. All I'm gonna say is that the buses have wide, reclining leather seats with a footrest that pops up at the push of a button. The seats are as wide as a first class seat on a jet. The best part is the the seats are assigned so that there isn't a mad dash to get a seat. The bus has two seats on the left side (for couples) and a single seat on the right (for solo passengers). The only seats that aren't divided like that are the four seats in the back of the bus. They are raised a foot and a half and they are smaller than any of the other seats on the bus. I almost always get the single seat. it's great cause you don't have any annoying passengers next to you. I always pity the people who get stuck in the back of the bus. Those seats are truly awful!

So I arrived in Seoul and headed to the salon. I brought my own relaxer (chemical that resembles mayonnaise and straightens kinky/curly hair). The owner of the salon looked surprised that I did that because she claimed that she had relaxers that wouldn't damage my hair. I had to explain to her that my hair needed the gentlest products available (that's why I brought a relaxer made for kids). She was sorta pissed but allowed her employee to apply it. After her employee put the relaxer in my hair she walked away for what seemed like an eternity (she's supposed to wash it off right after applying it or else it burns my skin). She went to the bathroom for about 10 minutes. My scalp was on fire the entire time and I thought I could feel the skin around my hairline burning. Finally she decided to grace me with her presence and I told her "You were supposed to was this off right away!". She then replied "I know what to do". There was a guy there who clearly wanted to make conversation and as soon as I sat in the shampoo chair he started to chat. Let's call him Morty. He had this super annoying nasal-y voice with a Brooklyn accent. He seemed super eager to chat about his life as I sat in the shampoo chair with my head on fire. Finally my hairdresser starts shampooing me and Morty decided that he was gonna keep on talking. I had to tell him that I was sorry and I couldn't hear him so we would chat when I was done. Well, he wasn't gonna have that. He decided to speak louder. The whole time I wished that this guy would just shut up but he kept on going. I told him "Look, I can't really talk cause my head is in a shampoo bowl". Morty thought that was code for him to talk even louder (I believe that people across the street could hear him) and ask me super loud questions. At this point I was glad that my shampoo was over and I was wheeled to the chair. Before Morty left he wanted to exchange info. I politely declined (Okay Okay I just said that I had a boyfriend and that wouldn't be a good idea). The boyfriend card is fantastic cause it gets me out of situations without the need to lie (not that I would cause almost everyone knows that I suck at lying).

I emerged from the salon looking great. I debated whether I was gonna stay in a hostel or a love motel. Neither idea seemed good or cheap especially since I was traveling by myself in the city. So after a bit of shopping around I headed to the bus terminal. I bought a ticket and got myself a smoothie from Smoothie King (delicious). When It was time to board the bus (at 8:20 PM) I noticed that I had seat number 27. After counting the rows I noticed that I had the hated last row. Not just that- I had one of the two middle seats. It sucked. I couldn't believe that I had one of the worst seats especially for a four hour ride. Eventually the man in our row who was sitting by a window moved his seat when he saw one that was empty. I asked the man next to me if he minded if I moved my seat (not really asked but pointed since I don't speak Korean). He was "OK OK". A woman got on the bus a second before it pulled out and sat on my old seat.

The bus ride started smoothly enough especially since I had my ipod with me. I just put it on and dozed off. During the drive I thought that the bus was jerking back and forth more than the usual but I assumed it was because we were in the back of the bus and we were elevated. The bus eventually stopped for the usual fifteen minute stop in a rest area (every 2 hours the buses stop in a rest area). At this time everyone got off the bus but me. I wanted to look at the stuff that I had bought. After the fifteen minutes were up the bus took off again. The man beside me wanted to start a conversation and I was not in a conversing mood. He started asking quite loudly for my name. I said Jennifer and he then told me his name. I then said "OK, I'm listening to music now". I placed my headphones on (which is the universal sign for leave me alone) but he didn't get it. He tapped me again and when I took off my headphones he then started asking me questions in Korean. I said " I have no idea what you are saying". He proceeded to laugh very loudly then slap me hard on my leg (as though I was his BFF or something). I'm not a violent person so it surprised me when I wanted to punch this guy and punch him really hard in the face. I was appalled that he did that so at this point all I could do was put my headphones back on and fume. As I'm doing this he gets up in my face and starts whispering/asking me things in Korean. He gets too close (remember- I am in a sold out bus in the back seat, I don't speak Korean so I can't tell him off and we are driving in the middle of the mountains, I am pissed, scared, annoyed, etc) and tries touching my face. I then try to back away but I can't cause I'm as pressed against a window as you can get. This guys apparently doesn't take my "NO" for an answer but then he places his hand on my arm and I rapidly pull it away. I am livid and wishing for this bus ride to be over immediately. I then said "Music!", put my headphones on, pulled on my hood from my vest and pretended to fall asleep. He left me alone after that.

As all this was happening, our bus driver seemed to be swerving and jerking the bus more and more. I was almost positive that he was falling asleep at the wheel. He drove over the noise strip that's on the ground for about 7 seconds. At this point people were really alarmed. As I pretended to sleep I kept peeking at the front of the bus and praying for us not to die. I've never been on a bus where the driver was swerving on the road and jerking the bus left and right. This was truly the drive from Hell. As I mentally calculated how long of a ride we had left- the driver gets on the exit for our city. As he is driving around I'm thinking that he better slow down on this exit cause it curved to the right. As I thought that, the bus suddenly hits something (I believe it was the side rail/wall that's on the side of the road. The whole bus jerked harshly to the left then right. There was also a loud banging sound. I yelped out "Oh my God!" which is how the Mr. Douche Bag to my right knew that I was up. He decided to continue harassing me until we pulled up to the bus terminal at 12:20 AM. The bus had to park behind parked buses and I decided to wait until douche bag got off. As I'm walking off the bus I see the guy talking to his friends but also slowing down. I duck behind a parked bus until I see him walk away. Then I walked (swiftly) to a taxi at the taxi stand. I make it home safe and sound but also very tense. My shoulders are sore from the tension between the jerky driving, the crash, and the jerk next to me.

Sunday was better. I woke up late cuz I had a late night gab fest with my friend Florida (One of the cool chicks I met in Seoul). I woke up pretty late in the day but I decided to clean, do laundry, and talk to my parents. I called California because he happens to be the only one on Skype. I tell him that I desperately want to see a movie. As of yet I haven't seen any and everybody talks about this amazing theater in Gwangju. So Boys Team and I decided to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I thought it was OK. Pretty much anything Johnny Depp is in is great so I eagerly went with Boys Team. They didn't seem as excited as I was but still. FYI- movie theater seats in Korea are assigned (you get to pick them out yourself). So you don't have to show up an hour early for good seats in a theater. What a great system!

That's it for now. I have to take an aspirin or something because my shoulders and neck are in serious pain from the horrible bus ride. Until my next entry- Adios!

"uhh...It smells like Pine-sol"

Wednesday Erin and I went into work "late" according to Ruby. She had several parents and their kids waiting for interviews. I came into work about 15 minutes after Erin did. Apparently Ruby was upset because we came in late to work. At that point I thought that I really did not care what this woman thought. Come on! We've asked her on multiple occasions about when we should come in to work. We normally get a "whenever you feel like it" response.

After an otherwise unremarkable day Erin and I stopped at our local supermarket on the way home. I needed to pick up some bread and fruit. Erin and I walked by the meat counter where they had what looked like popcorn chicken in a sweet and sour sauce. They had reduced it for quick sale so we took the last three packs. I confirmed that it was in fact chicken by doing the universal sign for chicken (since I didn't actually know the word "chicken"). I funky chickened in front of the meat counter lady and said "chicken?!" rather loudly. She nodded and said "chicken". I took that as a confirmation and we headed off to the check out counter. On the way home Erin and I talked about how we couldn't wait to heat up our grub.

We get home. I pop the chicken in a skillet and heat it up. I let Erin taste test before me. She took a bite then made a face like she was gonna throw up. She spat it out and said "that's def. not chicken". I said "what do you mean?!". She said that it was in fact pork. An animal that Erin doesn't eat. I thought to myself "oh no! I was really looking forward to chicken!". She was upset and made herself some ramen. I ate some of the popcorn pork (not tasty at all) while we sat around chatting.

Afterwards Erin decided to put on a face mask that she had gotten while traveling called 'Hyaluronic Acid'. It was obviously not made for Caucasians. You can see for yourself. Erin was worried that her face was gonna change color or that her eyes would burn off especially since she said that it smelled just like Pine-sol. It didn't help that the directions were in Korean. We had no idea what the package said since we don't speak any Korean...yet.

That was Wednesday in a nutshell. I'm gonna head to bed. Adios!

A Bug's (short) Life.

Ugh, this morning I woke up, talked to my parents, then started to get ready for my shower. I entered the bathroom and as I started to undress I see a black spider on the wall. Not your charming Charlotte's Web spider but your mean, black, Tarantula looking spider. Granted, it was small-ish but still. I ran to get Erin who told me that I had to be a big girl and kill it myself. I informed her that my brother does that for me especially since I have a massive phobia of spiders.

She wasn't gonna budge on this so all she did was spray it with some of her hair moose. She told me it was dead now. It most certainly was not. That spider had a strong will to live. He popped right out of the moose and looked pissed. let me remind you that I was half naked during all this and hyperventilating. I went back to Erin who told me that I had to take care of it on my own cause she had already killed three spiders in her room.

I groaned and made my way to the kitchen where I got our super long rubber gloves. I then grabbed three sheets of paper towels. I stared at the spider and debated mentally the pros and cons of using two or three sheets of paper towels versus one. I mean this is something I had to think about seriously. Had I used two or three sheets then the toilet might get clogged and the spider could get out of the toilet versus one sheet which would mean that I might be able to feel the spider in my hand which would mean that I'd freak out, drop him and then he'd surely attack me. Do you understand my situation?

Eventually I grabbed one paper towel sheet and one sheet of the flushable wipes (they break down easily= no clogging) and problem solved...or so I thought. I went to Erin grinning and told her that I grabbed and flushed a spider all by myself. She then asked me "you squished him right?". I said "uh...no cuz I could barely touch it. Why?". She then informed me that spiders can in fact float.

Merde.

Suncheon Girls

What did I do Saturday? Oh yes! My friends who I met in Seoul came to Gwangju for a day. It was a day full of fun. I woke up tardy and got to the bus station 20 minutes late. They were standing there patiently waiting for me. Let's call them Florida and Canada. Florida is a very fun loving stylish chick who loves life. Canada is great, she's sorta sarcastic (which I love) and is very kind. They both are a bit sassy and really cool. The best part? They love shopping more than I do! Erin is super pleased that I have found shopping buddies because as everyone knows- Erin HATES to shop. I LOVE to shop and walk around stores. Anyway- I pick the girls up and we headed to The Foot Place which is where I got my fish mani/pedi done.

We arrived at the nail place where three nail techs were waiting for us. We changed in the locker area and afterwards we were taken to the foot tubs where our feet soaked in colored/heated water. From there they moved us to the pool with the fish. I had forgotten that it was icy cold water. We had the fish picking at our toes for quite a bit. Eventually we were taken to the mani/pedi stations where the women did a fantastic job with our hands and feet. Since Florida was getting a very elaborate hand painted design on her fingers, Canada and I headed out to shop inside the store that the Foot Place was in. Kinda like a Super Walmart. Canada was in the market for a new camera so we headed on over to the electronics department. I don't know squat about electronics just how to turn them off or on. Canada doesn't either. She picks a camera based solely on the fact that it is pink (her favorite color). I think it also happened to be a Nikon or Cannon. To be honest I don't really remember but still...it was the color that mattered.

Once we left the Foot Place we headed to Old Downtown. This was Canada's first trip to Gwangju. We headed on up to First Nepal- my favorite restaurant in all of Gwangju.

After a super great meal of Butter Chicken and Nan we walked around town showing Canada the sights. We did quite a bit of browsing/shopping. As we walked we would get stared at by people or pointed and stared at. I guess it was because these people had never seen three colored girls walking down the street together.

We had a super fabulous time and we plan on getting together again. Where is the question. Until next time- Adios!

Byrl's Night

Erin and I had decided Thursday morning that Friday was gonna be Girl's Night. We decided to eat drink and bond. Erin has decided that she is going to travel every weekend so we can't hang out like we used to anymore. This only leaves us Friday nights. We decided to have a girls only night and since Christina is our friend we invited her too.

Friday at NewSchool was horrendous! Erin and I couldn't wait for our chance to get out of there. We decided to leave at (gasp!) 9PM. Normally we leave that building around 11:30 so the thought of leaving earlier made us nervous especially since Ruby was in the office chatting with a man for what seemed like 2 to 3 hours. They were still speaking when we left.

As soon as we went out the door we ran like the wind down to the second floor of the building where Erin had to stop to adjust her shoe. We ran like the proverbial bat out of Hell. We walked rapidly down the streets while at the same time checking our backs to make sure that Ruby or her family members weren't behind us. We eventually make it home to wait for our friend only to find out that Christina AND California (a boy?!) were joining us.

Several hours later they show up bearing grub. We sat around talking, complaining, moping, joking, and bonding. This is what Girl's Night is all about to me. A lot like the sleepovers we used to have when we were little kids. Except in the adult version there wasn't the sleeping over part and there was food and a bit o' Soju involved. Ahh Soju...you just can't have a gathering without it. Not to sound like an alcoholic or anything but Soju goes well with certain foods. To appreciate it you need to take it slow.

So that's it. Sounds like a boring night for most people but for me it was great. Girls Night turned into Byrls Night (a boy and several girls- get it? b-y-rls). We laughed, almost cried, cooked, ate, sang (Korean pop songs), and had an overall wonderful night.

Everyday things

Every morning I do the same thing. I check my e-mails, call my boyfriend, check on my parents (if they are online=they are home=they get called), eat my breakfast cereal (my students say that it is poison for my body coincidentally so does my boyfriend), check FB (who doesn't?), and shower. Once I leave the apartment I pass our trash man/guard who is always sifting through the trash or watching outside his little guard booth at the comings and goings of our neighbors. This little old man always gives me a beady little stare and never cracks a smile or waves back. I always greet him with a "Hello" in Korean but nothin' not even a head nod. I'm gonna make him greet me back one day. It's a promise.

The walk to the new school is mostly uphill. Not fun to walk but I swear that my legs are getting more muscle-ier (I don't think that's a word but who cares? It's my blog so I will spell whichever way I want... Even though I am an English teacher so...). They look much better now than they ever did. Of course I arrive at the school sweaty and completely winded but who cares? My legs look great so that is a small price to pay.

The landlord of the building (that the school is in) is bankrupt. There are many empty office spaces. The bathrooms are foul. The toilets have brownish/black water in them. It is beyond a doubt disgusting! It's the type of bathroom you would imagine a murder might happen. I have taken to using the bathroom on the second floor which happens to be in front of a golf clinic. The golf clinic has men practicing their golf swings to improve their game (as if there are that many golf courses in Korea). It happens to be a co-ed bathroom so that men and women sides are separated by a foot of wall. I would be uncomfortable with this but since I've bared it all in front of complete strangers in Africa for a week I'm perfectly fine in the co-ed bathroom. Erin is not. She won't even set foot in that bathroom. Luckily she has a very large bladder. I do not.

I should also let you know that the back of the building faces a driving range. There are four levels and a green net so that the golf balls don't fly all over the place. This thing is packed day and night with men practicing their swing. The bathroom across the hall from the school faces the driving range. There are toilet to ceiling windows which means that when I peed for the first time the men saw everything and then some. Sigh.

2 out of 3 is better than nothin'

Uhhh- sorry it's been so long folks. I've been uber busy with my psycho employer. Let me back up to the day that I received my luggage (March 3rd).

The suitcases were brought to my place of work. As I sat around trying to look busy, Ruby walked in with my long lost suitcases. They were greener than I remember- huh. Anyway- They were promptly handed over and I could barely contain my excitement. Ruby walked off to do "more important things" so I was left with my luggage in the staff room. I promptly sat and opened suitcase #1 which contained my shoes. Glorious, amazing, beautiful shoes. I swear my eyes teared up. It also contained my desk calendar- which I promptly pulled out and placed on my tiny desk. Of course my down comforter was there too. I had dreamt of this down comforter for a long time because I've been freezing every day for the last 2 months.

Suitcase #2 was also full of scarves and clothes galore. My happiness was immeasurable. I had the goofiest grin on my face all day. It didn't even bother me that the school was freezing (they don't turn on the heating...ever) or that Ruby was annoying me. At the end of the night Ruby told me that they would drop off my suitcases in the apartment in the morning. That's when I yelped "No! Erin and I will take it with us". I couldn't believe that after 2 months Ruby wanted me to wait one more day to get my stuff home. Erin and I dragged my suitcases home. That night I sat in my room and stared at them like an imbecile. I imagined the wonderful outfits I would eventually wear. After rooting in my luggage I noticed something a bit funny. The clothes I packed were mostly size 12 and 10. I am currently a small 8. I hadn't planned on losing so much weight so quickly. So now I have the not too unpleasant experience of having too many big clothes. Oh well, I could have ZERO suitcases and ZERO clothes right now so I am happy with what I have.

This brings me to the fact that my third suitcase is still MIA. The airline is still looking for it. Maybe I will get it in another 2 months. Who knows?! Until next time- Hasta luego!

First day of school

Today I started at New School which is considerably closer to our apartment. Remember the unfortunate incident on Sunday with Ruby telling me that I needed to show up on Tuesday morning? I woke up bright and early and Erin did not. You see she had to show me how to get to New School. I decided that if she wasn't worried about leaving early then neither would I. So I sat in my room patiently waiting for her to get ready. I did a bit of this and a little of that. Eventually she wakes up, gets ready and we head out to New School. 

On the way there was a group of pre-pubescent boys who yell (at who else?) "Where are you from? Africa?". I grit my teeth and avoid yelling back "Where are You from? China?". I have to remember that I am much older and wiser so I can't let snot-nosed kids get to me. 

We arrived at New School only to find that we were the only ones there. The school was really nice looking except that its in an almost abandoned building. There is NO heat so I asked Erin (repeatedly) "Why is it so cold?" as if her answer would change. She eventually sighs and says "Wait, it will get so cold that your cuticles will turn blue". I wanted to cry (for the millionth time in 2 months). 

Eventually Ruby and Narky show up and give me my first student. Let's call him Hyper Boy. I am almost positive he has ADHD. He could barely sit long enough to read and answer questions. He has been kicked out of many private schools for his hyperactivity. I told Ruby he needs to have private lessons because if you put him in a group setting then he won't pay attention or understand what is going on. I felt bad for the kid because he reminds me of someone I know so I treat him extra special. What is it with me and the kids who have mental/emotional/physical issues? I feel so bad for them that I feel as though I've gotta watch over them or something. Especially since in Korea they are considered for a large part of the population as a notch above worthless and/or retarded. They are thought of as kids that won't amount to anything. Also, interesting little tidbit- Found out from Erin (who found out from Ruby) that it is not unusual in Korea for parents to only take care/love/favor one child while the rest are ignored. The rest are considered at times "accidents". Most of the time the favored child is the oldest child.

After my one and only class today I sat around trying to look busy. It was hard but I managed. Then Narky bursts into my classroom while I was trying to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and tells me that my two suitcases arrived at the Grunter's apartment and that they will bring them over in the morning. I was cautiously optimistic. I then asked him about my third suitcase. After a blank stare he said that he would call to find out what is going on from the Grunter. I never heard back from him. 

When I got home today I read an email from the airline telling me that they found two of the three suitcases and that they were looking for the third. I emailed back saying thanks but also- I need compensation for clothes I bought when I got here as well as clothes/shipping fees for the stuff my parents sent me. I will not conveniently forget about that just because my luggage may have arrived. 

We shall see if it really did tomorrow- Buenas Noches!

The Greatest Weekend Ever!

OK before I start telling you about my super great weekend I need to fast forward to 2 hours ago. I arrived at the apartment at 7PM from Seoul. I see a note on my door stating that something was urgent and that we needed to call either The Grunter or Ruby. I thought that someone had died so I called them immediately. Actually, I mulled it over for about half an hour. Anyway- I called and the Grunter tells me (in an accusatory tone of course) that they tried to deliver my closets but no one was home. I said that I had just gotten home (she demanded to know where I was so I told them). They told me to wait and that they were on their way here (to my place). All I know is that twenty minutes later I happen to glance out my window and I see a man staring back at me. I, of course, scream and almost pee myself. Let me remind you that I live on the seventh floor and that there is nothing but air out my window. He was on a platform that was attached to one of those extendable ladder things that they have on the fire trucks. Apparently that's how they deliver stuff here. The Grunter and Ruby arrive with their husbands just then to say where these giant closets are to be placed. I have absolutely no say in the matter. The guy on the platform comes through my window and removes the windows in my bedroom as well as the balcony's. They then lift up the side of the building the closets. They weighed easily 150-200 pounds each. They look dirty and used. I guess at this point I should be grateful for what I get but I must say that these monstrosities are ridiculous. They smell old and musty. They take up the wall beside my bed. Ruby went into Erin's room and was upset to find that Erin had moved her bed around. She was mad because the giant chest couldn't be put in her room. I tell her it's because she really couldn't open her drawers.  She then decides to move our refrigerator from it's rightful place and place it against the flower wall. She decided that Erin's closet will take that spot. I think to myself that this is a HUGE mistake because now her clothes are going to have a combination musty food smell. They proceed to open our refrigerator and help themselves to my last two remaining apples. They also opened my drawers. They sawed some wood in our bathroom so that the closets would be even at the bottom. They tore up my bedroom floor by dragging the closets on it. They stepped on my bed with their nasty feet. I am now washing my comforter. The entire time they are all over the apartment opening drawers and helping themselves to our food. This was a HUGE downer to my otherwise super day. BTW- as these people were leaving Ruby tells me that "maybe we should meet tomorrow". I think to myself "HELL TO THE NO!". I keep calm and say "on my day off?". She says "Uh, yes we should prepare for the class you are starting to teach on Tuesday". I can't stop myself and say "really, but we are off aren't we?". She then says "how can I contact you?". I reply "by email, but at what time are we meeting because I made plans?". She then gets what I like to call Evil Face and says "well, I don't know. I guess we can meet Tuesday morning". I reply with a "great! see ya then!" and I shut the door. I know she's pissed but I don't really care. It's MY DAY OFF. I am now going to make sure that I am unreachable on the weekends. 

Seoul is probably one of the coolest cities that I have ever been to. It is vibrant, exciting, new, very different from anything I've seen anywhere else. I arrived in Seoul at 1PM and made my way to the subway station. I arrived in Itaewon which I swear that the second I stepped onto the street I was thrown back to New York City but with nicer people. I saw Americans, Latinos,

every race and color. I thought to myself that THIS is where I should have come to teach. I immediately set off to find Family Hair Salon which is where most non-Caucasian or Asian go to get their hair done. I arrive to find the stylist having lunch and they tell me to go upstairs. I go up the dangerously steep stairs to find 2 girls waiting to get their hair done. They say "Hi" and introduce themselves. Once they find out that I was from Gwangju they say "Oh, we heard a story of  a girl who arrived and was fired in a month. She had the Worst bosses". I thought to myself it can't be who I think it is so I say "Was her name Tiffany?". They say "Yeah, Oh my God how did you know?". I replied with a "Uh, I work at the school she was in and I have the same bosses". They give me the pity look and from there we click and discuss grabbing some lunch afterwards.  We emerge from the salon looking and feeling great. We head over to a Mexican restaurant. I am giddy as I anticipate guacamole, burritos, nachos, and more. We have a fabulous time at Los Amigos. The girls then invite me to go shopping with them so I eagerly go. We show up at one of the trendiest shopping district. That's  were we notice tons of people checking out a grand opening. I gasp when I notice the sign (in English of course) of H&M opening their first store in Korea. We spy the velvet ropes and red carpet. We make our way over to the entrance of the ropes and we are allowed in line to go in. There's pandemonium everywhere. People are trying to get in but can't (I don't know why because we were let in). There are guards all over the place. It's like a club was opening or something. We finally are allowed to enter H&M and see craziness. People were pushing, shoving, yelling all over. I spy a really cute sweater and as my hand clamps on the sleeve another Korean girl grabs the other sleeve. I stare at her with my Black Friday Face. You know the one you have when shopping on Black Friday for something that a store might have only twelve of. She promptly let's go of the sleeve and I make my purchase. Afterwards we went all over and the girls ask me where I was staying. I told them that I couldn't book anything online with my Korean credit card. They ask me if I want to go to their hotel and book room there. I say yeah after finding out that is uber cheap and very clean. I get there and it's next door to the Ritz- Carlton. Not too shabby. 

Oh but it was. It was a Love Motel. A motel in Korea for the most part is where people go to have sex because most couples live with their parents until marriage. I find this fact out when I arrive. At this point I decide Why not? It's only a night and I will sleep on my coat. I get to my room and see that it's shockingly clean. I have expected the bed to vibrate or something but was very glad to find out that it was a nice room with duvets and cleans sheets. Regardless, I slept on my coat. Poor coat.

The next day we went to a bona fide American diner. We waited forever but had the best food that I've had since I got here. Eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and glorious pancakes. The joy could not be measured. We shopped around in Itaewon and spoke to other Americans. It was Super Fantastic. Little America is by far my favorite part of Korea. It was like being home but if home was in the mountains with Koreans trying to sell you stuff. Kind like China in NYC plus add mountains and subtract graffitti as well as litter. 

There was a Smoothie King at the bus terminal and I bought a Caribbean Way. It was glorious. The whole weekend surpassed my expectations. I was on cloud 9 until I arrived at my front door and it all went straight to Hell.

I plan on returning with my new friends to Seoul in a month. We are gonna get our hair done and do the whole sightseeing/shopping thing again. Ay, la felicidad! (Oh the happiness!).

Little America

So I have been here 2 months now and I haven't left the city yet. I have been feeling a bit cooped up so I believe it's time I left for a day or two. I debated between heading to Seoul (North) or Busan (South/coast). What made me decide? The second that I looked in the mirror and realized that my hair looks absolutely atrocious. It's beyond bad. My mission tomorrow is to take a bus from Gwangju to Seoul. Once I arrive I plan on trying to figure out the Korean subway system and finding the Itaewon section of Seoul. It's mostly Americans there so it's like a Little America. It also happens to be next to the US Army base so there are many salons that specialize in wash and sets to relaxers. When I read about these salons online I was overjoyed!

Most people would head for the sights and then worry about their hair later. I, being a bit high maintenance, plan on heading straight to get the hair taken care of and then I might go sightseeing. I read that there is a market called Myeongdong Market that is very much like a Medina. I've been in a Medina and can say from experience that they are not pleasant. Anyway- they say this place is where retailers come to buy their stuff for resale and prices are roughly 90% off. We shall see if that is true. Hmm...

I tried booking a hotel but sadly my Korean credit card refused to work in an American website. This blows... a lot. This means that I will stay only 1 full day unless I find a cheap place when I get there. We shall see. I better get to bed since I plan on catching the 5AM bus. HAHAHA! I forget- I'm Latina and almost always tardy so uh lets just say that I will get there sometime in the day. Adios for now!

This Weekend

First of all-sorry it took me so long to write this blog. I've been working non-stop until very late so I don't get home until 11 or 11:30PM. You see, I have been assigned Harry Potter girl. Yes, she used to be Erin's student but now Erin has moved to the new school. HPGirl lives in Busan (a city several hours away) and comes to Gwangju to study at Ruby's school. Her mother is convinced that Ruby is amazing and that her daughter is the next Einstein. News Flash Woman: She is NOT. The girl is an only child so she gets whatever she wants. I could never tolerate her but since she was Erin's student I really didn't care. HPGirl was brought back to Gwangju last week so that she can take two weeks of courses at the school. With me.

On Tuesday they told me that I had to teach this girl... 2.5 hours per day. Her first hour and a half lesson is at 2:30 and goes on till 4PM. Her second lesson starts at 8:30-9:30PM. I also have to make 60-80 questions from two different books for her to answer every single night. She tries to correct my English whenever I speak to her. She follows me into the office where I have to start typing her questions before my other students come in for their lessons. She proceeds to ask me questions and to tell me random bits of trivia. I cannot get any work done because I have to act as if I'm delighted by how much money her family makes or why she is better than most people.  The first time you hear this you shrug, the second time you hear it you sigh and by the third time you grit your teeth. She constantly gets up in class and interrupts the lesson. The only reason I don't yell at her is because this girl is the school's cash cow. Her mother pays for very expensive one on one lessons every day. Apparently the reason that I wasn't given many student's while everyone else was getting swamped with work was so that I would be available when the girl arrived at the school again. Apparently her mother was paying for courses for the three weeks that HPGirl wasn't here. Ruby told her she needed to pay to keep her "slot" open. 

The girl very desperately wants attention and a friend. She invites me to her house every day and shopping on the weekends. I sorta feel sorry for her because I know that she is very lonely but at the same time she is exasperating. This is my last week with her so she should be going back to Busan to start middle school in March.

I just found out tonight that my favorite student overheard a conversation between the mother and Ruby. Apparently HPGirl's mother wants her daughter to take classes on Saturdays for five hours. When my student (who is about to leave b/c she starts high school in March) heard this she said that she wanted lessons too. Guess who they want lessons from? Yeah, me. Ruby apparently explained that the school was closed on the weekends but the mother was adamant about her daughter taking classes. IF they think I will work weekends then they better think of something else. My contract states that we work Monday through Friday. I hate working there so the thought of going back on a Saturday nauseates me.

The boys came over on Friday night to help Erin fix her new/broken bed. We ate pizzas and talked about our craptastic jobs. We had a dandy time.

On Saturday, Christina joined us at the Indian place. I had marvelous butter chicken with Garlic Naan. It was heavenly. The boys then headed shopping and Erin and I went off in search of the elusive bow earrings that I've wanted since I got here. We then met a guy named Leo. Yeah, sounds hot but I assure you that he was not. He asked Erin if he could follow us around so that he could practice his English with native speakers. Sure why not? he followed us like a puppy. He was obviously interested in Erin so I marched ahead and browed the stalls looking for those earrings. He eventually left so Erin and I headed to Speakeasy where we were supposed to meet the boys (they never showed up).  Erin and I found that she and I hadn't bonded in a long while so we caught up on everything and had a lovely time.

In other news- I colored my hair (all by myself) black. Miraculously I didn't get any color in my eyes!!! Now if only I could style it then I'll be great. Also, the weather in South Korea has warmed up. A lot. It's been in the 60's for the last couple of days. I can't wait for Summer to be here. yes, I've heard its a Hellbroth of heat and humidity that makes people pass out but who cares? I will feel like I'm right back in the islands. I might even wear a cardigan.

Hasta la vista!

If Hell has ten circles then I was in one of them.

So, uh... there really aren't any words that I can use right now to describe the traumatizing events that happened today. I will try but my brain is trying to protect me by getting me to forget what happened. I won't let it! I must tell you what happened on February 15th, 2010.

The following events are true.  I will try to tell you what happened so that future generations will know not to make the same mistake. 

We woke up early because we were supposed to meet Christina at Shinsegae department store so that she could take us to lunch at her house. When we arrived at Shinsagae, we noticed that the store was closed due to the holiday. Since we were early, Erin and I headed over to the E-Mart to pick up some last minute things for the boxes I am sending home. When we returned we found Christina waiting for us and we drove over to her place. 

We arrived at Christina's house only to find that instead of the modest meal that we were lead to believe we were going to be served, we had a whole banquet set before us. It was amazing. There were good things and non-edibles but it's the thought that matters. We then had to do a ceremonial bow for Christina's mother due to the New Year. Afterwards she presented us with "Luck Money". I thought it was going to be play money or maybe a buck or two. Instead we were presented with a crisp bill in a tiger printed envelope (worth about 10 bucks). After more bowing and thanking we hung out at Christina's place for a while before we headed out to the spa. 

After some driving around we finally get to the spa place. I was shocked to find so many people there. They were men, women, and children waiting to get in. The stares started the second we walked in the building. I thought I could handle the staring but I found that I was seriously uncomfortable because these were many people in one space. Come to find out that THAT was just the tip of the iceberg. We were given a ticket with our locker numbers and as we walk in we notice dozens upon dozens of naked women in various yoga poses, walking around, drying off, doing their hair, etc... They stopped doing whatever they were doing to stare or tap their neighbors and point at us. This was the first time in my life I had seen so many naked people in one place. Come to find out THAT was another tip of a monstrous iceberg. 

We get to our lockers trying to avoid the other naked bodies (BTW- these women had no issues about letting it all out). This was the moment that Erin and I knew that our friendship was gonna move to a whole other level. I was too nervous to change out in the locker area, so Christina took us to the bathrooms so that we could change there. I realized I was gonna have to get REALLY naked. Sadly, I couldn't leave the undies on. I removed everything and wore my robe only to find that EVERYONE in the entire locker area was naked or in the process of undressing. We were being stared at  not only because I colored and had strange hair but I was one of three people in the entire place wearing a robe.

Christina at this point says- "ready to go in?". I ask her where and she replies "Into the spa of course! You are so funny Jennifer". I then say "really? because I feel nauseous and I think I'm having heart palpitations". She laughs and then walks us through the doors to the tenth circle of Hell. There were many many women (apparently- we picked the absolute worst day to go to the spa because everyone goes to the spa the day after the New Year. It's a lovely little tradition). Erin and I guesstimated that there were roughly 200 or so women and children there. There were 4 very large hot tubs and 3 ice cold pools with water jets. There were showers along the entire wall so people washed up before and after going in. Everything was covered in blue tile that was meant to be soothing to the senses but it definitely did not have that effect on me. 

At this point I ask myself what did I get myself into? I begin having a panic attack, my heart is racing, I am sweating, thinking of some way to wake up from this very real nightmare. I walk up to a shower stall only to look in the mirror and notice that people have literally stopped whatever they were doing to stare. I am beyond uncomfortable but I plow through it and take it off. My last line of defense- the robe is off. I sense the eyes on the back of my butt and just scrub up and wash up. At this point I am literally dying, begging for something/anything to just get me out of here. Christina then marches us over to the hottest of the hot tubs where we get in. This time our robes have come off and we are just wearing our towels. Let me remind you that there are NO privacy screens. It's all one big open space! I feel nauseous and really anxious. my hands are sweating, and I'm starting to get dizzy. I am mentally yelling at my stupidity. Why in the Hell am I in this country?! Why didn't I figure out that the so called spa here was most definitely not what a spa is back home. As I walked over to a hot tub I was fervently hoping that this was ALL just one horrible nightmare and maybe I'd wake up any second. Alas, it was not.

As we sat in the hot tub with our towels wrapped around our bodies, we tried to not look around because there are literally butts and Hoohas EVERYWHERE! We were then joined by three or four preteens. They stared- until Erin broke the ice and said "Hi". One of the girl's replied with a "Hello" right back. At this point Christina says "Don't just don't (speak to them)". I asked "Why?". She says "Because if you talk to them in English then many more  kids will come and try to talk".  At this point Christina tells us that we have to get into the ice cold pool. It was icy cold so that it could cool the body down and tighten the skin. I stated that my skin was tight enough thank you very much. She cracked up and said "Get in!!!". I got in and it felt as though I jumped right into the Arctic Ocean. I thought to myself that I may just die of hypothermia. Eventually I start  to relax a little. Let's face it: I am butt naked with hundreds of other women in a cold pool so why not make the best of it. What I mean is that I swam like a fish, I did the doggy paddle, the back stroke, and the butterfly. I felt a bit like  Michael Phelps if he were a Latina woman in a Korean bath house and was butt naked. 

We eventually exited the pools and the saunas to bathe again in the showers. Sigh, we then marched to the locker room where we changed into our pink outfits so that we could go eat dinner in the Co-Ed section of the spa. Men, women, and children were lying on the floor on mats eating, resting, watching the big TV. We ate some Twedgie Cogie (pig) and headed to the stone yurt-like things where we sweat off a good 15 pounds. 

When we exited the place it was already 9PM. I was visibly shaken from the entire ordeal and wished to crawl into bed and rock back and forth for a bit. Before Christina dropped us off at the bus station she said "Hey! Let's do this again OK?". I replied "Eh, yeah sure thing". She drove off and I turned to Erin and said "Hell No". 

That was my Korean New Year adventure. What I know is that I have seen more Mrs. Snodgrass' than a gynecologist. I really do not plan to EVER do that again. 

Hasta luego!

"No, they are not piranhas"

So this is the start of our three day holiday weekend. Sunday the 14th of February is known as Korean New Year here in K-Town. It is also known as Chinese New Year in China and abroad (I think just because there are more Chinese than anywhere else). FYI- Don't call the new year- Chinese New Year (I made that mistake- several times) because apparently people in K-Town hate the Chinese and they also seem to have some sort of superiority complex. If all else fails just call it Lunar New Year and your are set. 

Back to our Saturday. Erin came home after quite the adventure on the bus. Let's just say this: She fell asleep on the bus (I was home-sleeping), Woke up to the driver yelling at her at which time she noticed that the bus was parked in some sort of bus parking lot in the mountains. Far from any signs of modern civilization. She noticed that she was in the mountains somewhere and there was a lot of snow and a lot of hikers. She panicked and went off to find a bus stop where she could catch our trusted #50 bus home. Her version of this story, I am sure is far more amusing, especially since it happened to her. All I know is that she bangs open my door at noon (I was sleeping- remember?) to tell me her wild adventure. Enlightening, but for future reference: Don't wake me when I'm sleeping. I'm like a grizzly after it's been hibernating. I am an unhappy individual in the morning.

Moving on! That afternoon, at two to be exact, we had appointments for manicures and pedicures at the spa. We arrived at The Foot Shop and received a very warm welcome. The ladies handed us slippers so that we could remove our shoes. We were then given keys for our lockers. I panicked for a minute because I thought that I would have to remove my clothes. Side Note: Do you recall when I stated that most traditional spas require people to be butt naked? Well I remembered, quite well in fact. That's why the moment we were led to the locker area- I started having heart palpitations. Our fears were for nothing because we were asked to change into some mustard brown "shorts" that came to my knees. They were ugly as hell but I thought OK why not? So, we exit the locker room and are told to sit on cushions that were on a raised wood paneled platform. We put our feet inside what looked like sinks that were in the floor. They were filled with some sort of hot yellow liquid.  I thought to myself that if urine is part of this spa thing then I am so out. I figured out that it wasn't so I relaxed. As we were sitting in our non-pee water thrones, we were stared at by the employees. They would turn at us giggle and mutter something to the others. I would've been pissed because this is what happens in the States at the nail places (minus the giggles and add hostile rapid Korean/Chinese/etc) but I've become accustomed to it. Erin and I are the entertainment everywhere we go. 

So our nail ladies get us and they lead us to the fish tank. it looked like a large sink that was in the ground. As soon as the fish saw us they went frantic! They were hopping out of the water swimming close to the surface. I put me feet near the edge of the water and all hell broke loose. I had a mental flash of the scene in that piranha movie where the fish go ballistic and start jumping out of the water. Erin then said "you go first". I then told her "uh, no You go first". She then sighed and stuck her feet in. All the fish rushed to her and started picking at her feet frantically, desperately as if they hadn't been fed in weeks. Erin's eyes are popping as she says "Oh My God!".  I then put my feet in and yelp because I'm shocked by the feeling of many fish just picking at me. They were all over the place! Trying to squeeze between the toes, at the heels, on my legs. My first instinct was to get out but I didn't. I sat through it. I am not going to say that it was a pleasant experience but it wasn't painful either. It was just another layer of weird that I have learned to accept in Korea.

The ladies then led us to get our nails done. People who came in to make appointments or get stuff done just stared. I am very proud to say that I have grown accustomed to this. Now, I just look over, stare right back and shrug (the French shrug that I love). I am proud to say that Erin had her first manicure and pedicure ever! She was whining throughout both the mani and pedi because she thought it would be weird having someone rub her feet. She sat through it like a big girl and came out with super cute toes (I am secretly jealous). She had frogs painted on her toes. They couldn't be cuter! I have jet black nails (I feel like my old me again!) and hot pink on my toes. Who cares! I wear socks all day anyway.  

Do you want to know what the best part of Korea is? The absolutely no tipping policy they have. I tried to tip but they shook their heads rapidly saying "no!, no!". It felt weird- the whole not tipping thing but it's another thing that I have now grown accustomed to. 

Erin and I make our way over to Lotteria (the Korean McDonald's) where I get my tenders and she tries to be adventurous and order the chicken sandwich (since when is a chicken sandwich adventurous? since it comes with the following: chicken, lettuce, mayo, mustard, and last but certainly not least- teriyaki sauce). The colors and the smells on that sandwich are stomach turning. I tell Erin "Uh, that's not right dude" she takes a bite, chews, swallows and then says "No, no it's not". From Lotteria we make our way around Lotte (it's like a super Wal-mart with groceries, clothes,  household stuff) where I buy stuff for the packages that I am sending home. 

That's it for now, Tomorrow- Sunday 14th is New Years but it's also V-day so everything is closed. Erin and I will be heading with Christina to the scary spa. The one where nudity is the norm and "sigh"- I am sure will be an adventure all by itself. After the spa, we have been invited to dine with Christina's family. Her entire family. Great! More staring- except this time I have to eat what is offered to me... in front of everyone. Can I remind everyone that I don't eat seafood or unidentifiable foods? "Sigh".  OK, heading to bed so adios for now.